Friday, September 11, 2015

It has been pointed out to me

 that my cell phone has a GPS unit built in. It tracks me if anyone wants to.

The next time I decide to rob the 73rd National Bank of East Muleshoe, Idaho I think I'll just drop my cell phone in my wife's handbag and send her shopping.

Then again, I suppose I could take some gum and stick it to the bottom of the third stool at Clancy's Saloon.

This reminds me of the best alibi I ever had for anything.

One time I arrived home to Kodiak late and found my trailer was out of propane and it was going to be a cold night. I was headed downtown on foot and a cop saw me and offered me a ride. When I told him what I was doing he suggested I sack out in the jail.

The night I was in jail someone I had crossed swords with earlier was shot in the head about three or four times.

My name was mentioned as being someone that had crossed swords with him and I was asked for my whereabouts the time of the murder.

It gave me immense satisfaction to tell them I had spent the night in their jail. Best alibi in the world.

Incidentally the shooting was later ruled suicide. Gotta love Alaskans.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

1 comment:

  1. More than the GPS!

    I'll turn on the cameras, comparing your biometrics to my records.

    The accelerometer will tell me what you're doing.

    The inclinometer will tell me if you are reading, as will the follow-eyes aensors.

    Signal triangulation will confirm more.

    Audio will tell me if I bear you or a recording

    Pic. With Smartphone I own you.

    If you set me down I will know and may SWAT you to be sure.