I'm sure you remember this and I was thinking about it and had to laugh myself silly with your reply to my email.
What I did to your husband was downright evil. Actually I would have to say odious. Yeah. That's it. Odious. Odious is something to be proud of. Anyone can do something and be a a$$hole. It takes a real first class scoundrel to do something truly odious and having done something like that, it gives a serious source of pride.
I took a lot of time and effort to do what I did.
Let's face it, an army platoon sergeant looks like a real tough guy to the privates in his platoon. (In truth he is more like somebody's mother but that's OK. Private Snuffy is convinced his Papa Sierra as the toughest sergeant in the army...or at least should be.
On the other hand, every blue moon it IS funny watching him turn beet red in front of his troops.
The first step was to get his military mailing address without him knowing it. I called an old Warrant Officer I knew and told him what I wanted. He didn't seem too in interested until I told him what I wanted it for. THAT got his attention!
Now that Warrant Officer was under deadline because he was responsible for crewing up the prototype of the new EN-50 combat vehicle but he instantly shuffled that aside and started making calls. He called me back with the address in 15 minutes.
Now I didn't screw around with this project. I put a lot of time and effort into this one. The Second step was to fish an old pizza coupon out of the trash and scribble "I'll bet your as red as a beet" on it and signed it. I put this in my pocket and it was off to the Hallmark store where I explained I needed a lovely pink envelope...and why.
The older Hallmark woman laughed outright and found me one. Hallmark always winds up with spare envelopes for some reason so this was no problem.
Now the store wasn't busy so I put $10 on the table and held an imprompu 'girly handwriting' contest. I think the older woman knew exactly what I wanted and she even dotted the Is with little hearts. Perfect! Straight out of junior high! She must have been a born love letter writer so we grabbed a lovely lavendar pen and she addressed the envelope.
Then it was off to the Macys cosmetic department for a big, bright red kiss followed down by a bath in cheap stripper perfume. With that accomplished, I stuffed the pizza coupon in it, stamped it and threw it in the mail and went to bed that night smiling as I pictured his face at mail call in front of the guys.
I knew there was no way he was going to squirm out of that one!
It arrived a few days later and the mail clerk took one look at it and gave himself a very evil grin and put it aside. He knew what to do. He had to give that one to the sergeant publicly, in front of his whole platoon.
Which I'm sure he did. The hoots and whistles must have been epic.
Now your husband has a pretty good sense of humor and recovered. He chuckled and threw the letter into his 'souvenir box' and there it stayed.
Four months later.
I got a panic stricken email from the good sergeant explaining that he had sent his souvenir box home, his wife found the letter and was upset over it. He pleaded with me to email his wife and explain that is was just a prank.
I instantly emailed her explaining everything and a couple hours later I got back an answer from her.
She said she knew exactly what had happened. She knew it was a prank and a pretty good one at that! She also asked me to keep my mouth shut so she could enjoy making him squirm a little more.
Ya gotta love a good GI wife!
Later when the sergeant retired I did send the wife a note thanking her for standing by him and taking care of the family in his absence. Good GI wives are priceless and never seem to be given the proper credit for what they do.
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