One of the things I like about myself is the ability to keep a straight face when I say something outrageous

I looked like hell the other day and some guy just had to ask me if I was a landscaper.

"No. I'm gardening today," I replied. "I'm retired from 34 years of writing and directing gay midget porn movies."

He went into shock and when he recovered walked away fearfully.

The woman ringing the register had a hard time keeping a straight face. She's seen me in action before.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY