I might get back to this one later. Sorry. Busy today.
Sucks. Didn't get to it.
Tuesday, May 31, 2022
Oh, great!
Monday, May 30, 2022
Cast your bread on the water.
Once in a blue moon you get a $hit sandwich back in return but as a general rule I get back poached eggs on toast.
Sunday, May 29, 2022
Ever notice how many washed up celebrities pop up after a shooting?
Bette Midler demanded an armed assault on the NRA convention.
That old washed up has-been is pretty damned hypocritical demanding an ARMED assault on the NRA. She wants people to use the very arms she wants to have taken away.
If they take those evil guns away then what is she going to use for her next planned armed assault?
What should als be well noted is that I don't see Bette suiting up to lead the charge. If it's her idea she should be the first one through the door.
Anyone ever bother to notice that these washups always seem to want someone else to do the dirty work?
Saturday, May 28, 2022
Shamelessly stolen
Friday, May 27, 2022
Don't do this.
Names changed to protect the guilty (Guilty of doing nothing wrong.)
I don't know if the guy had a driver's license or another form of ID but I about died laughing when someone used a carry permit as a form of ID at the bank.
The teller saw it and got wide-eyed and stuttered something about not being allowed to carry a gun in a bank. The man told the woman his weapon was in his car outside with his wife.
'B..but this permit says..." she stammered.
I didn't have all day.
"Hey Lady, his firearm in in his car." I said.
"But this thing says..." she stammered.
"Lady, you got a driver's license?" I asked.
"Yes," she replied.
"So how come you're not driving?" I asked.
"My car is in the parking lot," she replied.
"So is his firearm. It's not in the bank." I shot back. "The permit is a bona fide picture ID so let's get with the program. Take care of the man. There are over 125,000 of those permits in this county. My 96 year old mother even has one."
You would think the bank would train their people about the various legitimate forms of ID.
Several years ago I used one to cash a check in Philly out of curiosity and get a bunch of stupid questions about it. Unfortunately she didn't ask me if I had a pistol in my pocket so I couldn't tell her I was just glad to see her.
A carry permit is a truly lousy ID in most cases. Don't use it.
Personally I think it's a great form of ID because in order to get one you have to have a clean record.
On the rare occurence when I get stopped by a policeman I hand him both my driver's license and my CCW. It tends to relax policemen just for that reason. I have had a couple of officers over the years ask if I was carrying. When I said I wasn't one cop asked me, "Why not?"
To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this:
http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY
Wednesday, May 25, 2022
You want a razor blade? What kind?
You want one for a utility knife? The cocaine kind? Or the kind Miss Jones used in the movie to slit her wrists with?
I got all three. Which kind do you want?
Tuesday, May 24, 2022
I just heard a great Monkeypox campaign slogan.
Together we can spank the monkey.
Monday, May 23, 2022
Someone wishes they had not called me a racist.
because they were stupid enough to say we should not have voter ID laws.
I said otherwise and they went directly into autopilot and called me a racist because it's so difficult for minorities to get a voter ID card.
"So you are telling me that minorities are incapable of getting driver's and business licenses? They can't sign up for social security, medicare, medicaid, SNAP benefits? They don't know how to simply fill out a form? How about job applications and things of that nature? I know better. They are just as capable as anyone else. That's the most racist statement I have ever heard in my entire life! Racist my ass! It's the racism of low expectation! You don't think they are capable."
"Uhh... Yeah, well...."
"Uhh...yeah, well nothing! Minorities are just as capable as anyone else. You just insulted every single minority in the country! Now go home and get fitted for sheets and be honest about it. You wanna be a racist? Have the decency to look like one."
Not much they could say.
Here's the basic voter rules according to Piccolo.
1. Ya gotta be alive
2. Ya gotta be a citizen
3. Ya gotta register
4.Ya gotta get an ID
5. Ya can only vote once.
6. (depending on your state law) Ya can't be a convicted felon.
Anyone that attempts to vote fraudelently gets handed the Monopoly card. Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.
That's all. It sounds fair enough to me.
In fact the 'register, get an ID and vote' part was stated by none other than the Left's sainted Nelson Mandela.
Sunday, May 22, 2022
The best luggage tags I have found yet are dog tags with your name, address and phone number on them.
Put them on a one inch split ring and you can generally find a good spot on your travel luggage to put them.
They are easily spotted as they are fairly bright and shiny. They are legible and easily recognizable. Everyone knows what they are.
They also draw a certain curiosity because everyone that seen a dogtag just HAS to read it.
Of course it won't deter thieves but nothing really does. You can label something as a biohazard and someone will still steal it but honest people will likely at least give the phone number a call to help you retrieve it.
On my backpack on the 'grab strap'at the top I poked a hole in it with a heated nail . Use a heated nail because they seal up nylon. Just a cold hole punched in nylon webbing will fray.
For about $2.50 apiece on eBay they're a fair deal.
Saturday, May 21, 2022
Kate Middleton is a very beautiful and classy lady.
I saw pictures of her at a social event and she really does have a lot of beauty and charm.
She has all the social graces and is a wonderful representative of the Royals. William seems to have chosen wisely.
Still, a lady of such grace should be able to handle all situations and I can honesstly see her spring into action to give first aid to an injured person.
One thing I would really like to see is if she could handle ANY social situation. I would just love to see how she'd handle herself if she got caught up in a food fight or pie fight.
Hopefuly she would not disappoint me and would get downright down and dirty and wallop some uppity prince right in the face with a handful of mashed potatoes.
"With the grace of a ballerina she spin around on her spike heel, grabbed a handful of mashed potatoes, threw them with a smooth motion and an excellent follow through and splattered the entire handful over the indignant face of the Duke of Earl. and then turned to Prince William and continued their conversation."
Friday, May 20, 2022
Don't you know how to count?
Someone reminded me of this somewhere else. He used the term 'eleventy billion' to describe a large number of things. I once used 'eleventy three dozen' to describe a large number of things and the person said, "Wait...wait...wait...How many is that?
I answered "It's a whole ringtailed passle."
"How many is that?" he asked.
I just told him to learn how to count and walked off.
The other time somebody had done something cool at work and I told the tug skipper, "Give that man a flagon of ale!"
A green deckhand looked at me and asked, "How much ale is in a flagon?"
"It's twice the size of a tankard," I answered and went back on the barge, leaving him confused. Everyone knows what 'Give that man a flagon of ale' mean. It means the same as 'give that man a kewpie doll!'.
The other thing was when I was explaining some kind of manufacturing process and said, "Say you're making widgets..."
"Wait, wait, what's a widget?" he asked.
"OK, this is a subcontractor thing. The company is subcontracting to IBM. IBM is making the MKIV BC-603-7A chrono synclastic infindibulator under a secret contract for the Department of Defense. The widgets are used to hold the body of the Frammis onto the main frame of the finished unit. They also double as the power supply for the infindibulator," I replied.
"I don't understand," he said.
"That's because you don't understand that we're not talking about a specific product here. We're talking about the concept of manufacturing something." With that I changed the subject and wandered off and found something to do to get away from him. Trying to explain something to someone like that is a total waste of time and besides something more important came up. The trash needed emptying.
Thursday, May 19, 2022
Yes. My social security number REALLY IS 000 00 0006
We're back to this bull$hit again.
Doctor's office.
The paper pusher started that crap again and I finally gave up and told him it was six...again. Yes, six. I have done this before and likely I'll do it again.
When people ask for an explanation of how I got the SSN of six I tell them it was given to me in 1935 by President Roosevelt and start on on how I got a free trip to the White house from the Iowa farm I didn't grow up on.
(FWIW I give the extended car warranty people that my primary vehicle is a 1929 Ford Model A I bought brand new when I graduated from high school.)
It's none of their damned business what it is and there's no government involvement in it so six it is. That's their problem.
Anyway after all was said and done I called the insurance companies and told them to be on the lookout for my claims because I had given them six as my social.
I was expecting them to get upset but both insurance people just laughed like holy hell. One of them said, "good for you!"
Another one said that when a form comes in with someone's SSN on it she redacts it with a black sharpie. God bless her!
This crap has gotten out of hand and it's time for the public to start taking action.
However, please do not use six as your SSN because that's MY number. Use your own, please. You can use 1-5 or 7-0 because mine is 6.
Wednesday, May 18, 2022
I just read where Nestle is airlifting baby formula to the States
because the biggest baby formula plant in the country is down
In the meantime, Ladies it's time to put 'em to work. did you thing they were given to you just to enable you to look good in a bathing suit? They were given to you for a purpose which as of late seems to be ignored by many mothers.
You had the infant, now feed it. Use the damned thngs for what they were designed for.
And I don't want to hear bellyaching about how they'll be all saggy afterwards. They make a pretty good line of bras these days that'll make them look great under a sweater or for that matter, practically anything else you want to wear.
Besides, when you are through having children you can just throw $5000 into them and they'll look as good as new if not even better. In fact if you do get a good rebuild there's no reason you can't be winning wet T-shirt contests in your golden years.
In the meantime I hope you are grateful that you don't have to read any more mean tweets.
Tuesday, May 17, 2022
Fauci and several others have treatened to quit if Trump gets back into the presidency.
That in itself strikes me as an endorsement for Trump.
On the other hand a lot of people threatened to move if he was elected in 2016 and they're still here being obnoxious.
Trump has a lot of faults but I have to admit he did a lot. A lot of things liberals have promised to do for years. For one thing minority employment skyrocketed. The liberals have been promising minorities a whole bunch of things for decades and never seem to produce other than putting out vast social programs that do nothing for creating independent people.
He did create one hell of an economy and get things moving.
Still, I have a hard spot in my heart for people that make threats like little kids. We should hold people like Fauci, Cher, Joy Behar, Whoopi Goldberg and others to their word. They should be hounded constantly and reminded of their empty threat every time thay show their face...just because of who they are.
People like that just give me one more reason to vote for Trump if he runs again in 2024. Yes, it's spite. Very much so.
8888888888888888888888888888888
I remember someone one of the higher-ups that threatened "If the company does that, I'm going to quit."
His resignation was accepted on the spot and I remember watching him walk out of the boss's office in total shock.
I really respected the boss for doing that.
I hate childish bull$hit threats.
Monday, May 16, 2022
So what was your career? Some nosy guy asked.
I said I was retired.
Not wanting to get into the usual plethoria of questions that go with telling someone you are a professional mariner, I told them that at an early age I had embarked on a life of crime. Same difference, really.
"How'd that work out," he asked, rather dubiously.
"Rather well," I said. "I found something that fit me early on. I've made a good living at it and have made more than most college graduates. It all started with the lemonade stand I opened when I was eight. It was unlicensed, uninspected and I paid no taxes, a true All American criminal enterprise. Kinda like how Al Capone got started only I was younger. Al sold untaxed booze and I sold untaxed lemonade. Same difference."
He grew wary. "You were not selling drugs to teenagers, were you?" he asked.
"Absolutely not," I replied. "You don't sell drugs to teenagers, you buy them from teenagers for resale to senior citizens. The Northside dealers always cheat seniors so you go through a teenager to make sure you get the quality stuff for resale to seniors at the Senior Center."
"As a criminal how much time did you spend in jail?" he asked in a rather snooty tone.
"None," I replied. "Jails are for unsuccessful criminals. I have been very succcessful as a professional criminal. I have never even been charged with a crime. In fact most of my crimes have been perfect crimes where nobody even knows a crime has even been committed."
"Like what?" he asked.
"And have you run down the the police station and rat me out?" I shot back. "No way in hell!"
He had his credit card out for a purchase and I noted his first name. His last was covered by a finger. He blushed and started to walk off.
"See ya later, Ray," I said and he got very nervous when I addressed him by his name that he had never given me and he quickly walked away.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
The other thing I say I am retired from sometimes is "43 years of writing and directing midget porn movies and videos."
If I choose the right person they get very uncomfortable.
I've posted about that one before.
Sunday, May 15, 2022
I'll paint ANY face for $99.95!
Every so often a target of opportunity pops up and I can't stop myself.
The other day some woman wanted to know who she could find to do her makeup for her upcoming wedding.
I replied, "My friend Bubba used to work for Earl Schieb. He'll paint ANY face for $99.95."
I was suprised to see a couple of women thought it was funny.
Generally to a woman there ain't NO room for humor when weddings or new babies are the subject.
Don't get me started on babies.
Every time a bunch of women start "The new baby...the new baby...the new baby!" I always ask them what they are going to do with the old one. It gets instant looks of confusion by virtually every women present and any guy there has to cover his mouth to keep from busting up.
Update: The Earl Schieb comment earned me a 30 day time out.
Oh, well.
Someone asked me why I have so much stuff in neon pink.
My cell phone cover, for example is that color as is some of my other stuff.
He asked me this during crew change activities and I told him to wait a minute and I would show him. We were loading a van with all of out luggage and when we were done I called him over before I shut the door. I pointed.
"Ya see that pile?" I asked. "Where's your stuff?"
"Uhh," then he started looking around and said, "I think that's mine over there."
I pointed at my hot pink backpack and said, "There's mine, and on top of that, everyone knows it. They won't grab it by accident."
A similar thing happens with my cell phone when I put it down. All I have to do to see where it is is glance around and there it is. I feel sorry for the cool kids that have camoflage cell phone covers because it it's good camoflage they will never find it unless it rings.
This is an old trick I have used for decades. When I was a carpenter I would spray my tools with whatever brightly colored paint was laying around. It saved me a lot of aggravation over the years.
That particular backpack cratered a while back and today I decided to snag another one and it took me some time but I was successful. Florescent pink. It's made by Dickies so it should be OK.
I'd like to get a rolling carry-on in that color but have not been able to locate one at a reasonable price.
Update. At the last minute I held back on the Dickies because I saw it was a little too big to officially call a 'personal item' on an airplane. Instead I found a Jansport advertised as a girl's 80s retro neon pink pack which I ordered that looks like a prefect fit.
Also I was scouting for a decent roller bag and found on interesting one in pink with white polka dots. It's a little on the small side so I passed on it. There's also some nice pink ones with a kitty cat on them but those are for little kids and are not generally made very tough.
I guess for my roller carry on I'm going to stick to buying them at thrift stores for about 8 bucks and just using them until I tear the wheels up and then pitching them. Oil terminals and places like that are hell on plastic wheels. Buying expensive carry on luggage makes about as much sense as buying designer clothes to clean an oil tank with.
When I go to sea I never bring anything that I can't replace for a quarter at a garage sale. The pack I can certainly justify as it won't get too beat up and should last a while.
Saturday, May 14, 2022
One of the things that's stupid about flying is that
I have to carry my razor, a double edged Old School model along with the blades in checked luggage. I can't stuff a package or three in my carry on.
I guess I'll just have to mail them ahead of time to get them there.
Right now I'm going to check and see if eBay will deliver them to the vessel instead of to my PayPal address. I understand some merchants there won't and some will.
I'm kind of picky and the brands they sell in drug stores around here generally suck.
Normally I use Voskhods unless I REALLY want a close shave and then it's time to break out a Feather. If I use a Feather I have to be damned careful though or I will look like I have gotten into a whorehouse brawl.
Update. I had Amazon send me some to the office address. They will be there when I go back to work.
Friday, May 13, 2022
I just read where humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
Which makes sense.
When was the last time you ate a banana?
When was the last time you ate a monkey?
Thursday, May 12, 2022
One of the damned few good things that has come out of Covid
is the elimination of that small handful idiots that feel that to communicate they have to stick their face six inches from yours and speak in a loud voice.
Thank God for small miracles. I hope it continues.
One thing it hasn't done is eliminate those that seem to think that what they have to say is the most important thing in the world and that they are the most intelligent being in the universe and prove it by typing in all capitals.
I once called someone out on it and she came back with some heart wretching tale of how she couldn't see well and had to so she could see what she was writing.
Of course a lot of the Karens took the bait and tried to chastise me for it until I pointed out that you can set your computer so as to make the type bigger in case you do have a vision problem.
Incidentally I recently bought a bible to read and bought it in large type for older adults and those with vision problems. You'll also notice this blog is written in a larger font to make it easier for those with older eyes to read. I don't just type in caps. It's an ignorant thing to do.
There. Now you don't have to shout anymore.
In fact I'll make it easy for those so afflicted. Start>settings>ease of access> slide the slide> set> done.
You're welcome.
To the LGBTQ community. Stop blaming conservatives for your problems.
Most conservatives really don't care a bit about your sexuality so long as you don't try and push it on them. I don't do that to other people and I require it of them. Fair enough.
We have better things to do than pick on you.
Most of us simply judge you by the content of your character. Most of us have friends and family that are in the LGBTQ community and we love them and treat them fairly.
As for the Christian Coalition that wants to legislate morality?
Most Old School Constitutionalists (like me) and most true conservatives consider them to be a royal pain in the ass. Most of us like them about as much as you do.
Wednesday, May 11, 2022
People that don't seem to get it when you lay it out for them.
This particular incident goes back about 30 years ago but I have gone through the same type of thing several times in my life.
I was working a tug and barge at the time and making good money on a three weeks on/off schedule. Just for the hell of it I took a job running a water taxi for a little chump change. It didn't pay a whole lot but it was mildly entertaining and not a whole lot of bust ass work went with it.
I interviewed the morning after I got back from a tour and was hired on the spot and put to work. I had been up front about the fact that I was not going to quit my regular job and that was the way it was. I also made it clear to them that if the office called me in early I was going to go back to work at my regular job.
"Oh, yeah. We understand," he said.
It wasn't a week before the boss man started in asking me how I liked the job and it started slyly suggesting I go full time.
That drew an annoyed look and he should have been able to take the hint. The game went on until the day before I had to return to my real job and when I let him know he got upset and asked me why I didn't want to stay.
I was ready for that one. I pulled a paycheck stub out of my pocket and handed it to him and watched his eyes go wide as he saw I was making over three times what he was paying me.
He said, "I can't afford to pay that kind of money!"
"I know," I replied. "And I can't afford my lifestyle on the money you pay me. I took the job for some pocket money and I carefully explained it to you when you hired me."
"But I thought..." he said. Then he got frustrated.
I was somewhat sympathetic. "Your expectations were not real," I said. "You thought I would change and give myself a 3/4 pay cut after I saw how cool the job was."
He grew quiet and I left. I took my pay stub off the desk and walked out. The next day I left for work and when my tour was over I didn't call back in to the water taxi. The juice wasn't worth the squeeze.
Instead I called Manpower and took a few odd jobs there.
Later on I ran into one of my water taxi coworkers and he said the boss bad-mouthed me. I shrugged and got the guy's phone number. A couple of tours later the outfit I was working for was hiring entry level people. I called him and he and two other people quit the water taxi company and went to work on tugs on the East Coast, leaving the taxi high and dry.
I've had to deal with people that had unrealistic expectations before that and since and it is a real pain in the ass.
Posting this thread gave me an idea about a retirement gig. I think I will do odd jobs for Manpower or some temporary job service. The variety should prove to be interesting as there are so many different things they use people for.
I used to do that decades ago and it was pretty good. I hung sheet rock one day, helped put up circus tents the next, and was a hotel maid for a couple of days. I did all sorts of different stuff and it wasn't boring.
Remind me to look into the temporary agencies one of these days. I'd forgotten about that.
Tuesday, May 10, 2022
Someone asked if Rich Strike,
the horse that won the Kentucky Derby, was getting a visit from President Biden,
The answer they got was "No. If he wanted to look at a horse's ass he would have come in second."
Monday, May 9, 2022
We knew this was going to happen.
To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S
Sunday, May 8, 2022
My instincts made a pretty girl smile.
Shopping for grub.
A 20 something pretty girl next to me.
My gut instinct kicked in. I turned to her and asked her is she was a Filipina. I could sense she was. I knew I could be wrong but figured it was worth saying.
"Yes! I am! How did you know?"
"Because the prettiest girls in the world are Filipinas," I answered.
The smile and little bit of a blush made me know that sometimes taking a chance pays off. I knew I had made someone's day.
On the other hand, sometimes you're wrong and get bitched out. So what. God gave you two ears. If she had gotten snitty I would have let it go in one ear and out the other.
Saturday, May 7, 2022
As I understand it SCOTUS may overturn Roe vs Wade
and from what I understand it will push the entire issue down to a state level closer where it really belongs. An awful lot of stuff the feds control should be pushed down to a state level but then again I am an Old School Constitutionalist.
Yet an awful lot of people don't understand the actual issue involved and are up in arms about it.
I just saw a photograph of a woman's protest on the issue and admit I laughed like hell.
The signs said that if they didn't get a choice they would be keeping their legs closed. That's nice, Dear. Keep them closed. Please. I don't want to see that rotten thing of yours. Really. I'd really look at a rotten kettle of fish.
The woman in the picture were just plain nasty looking.
The ironic part of the photograph is that it was the biggest collection of nasty looking beached whales I have ever seen.
On a different but similar note the late great George Carlin pointed out, "Ever notice that the women that gripe about calendars and pinups are the ones you wouldn't want to f*** anyway?"
One thing I have noticed is that the further down the chain you push responsibility the better things generally work.
Personally even though I think abortion is an abomination that the decision belongs with the individual as horrible as it is. Government should have no say whatsoever in such a personal issue. It's one issue for me that proves that liberty can be a bitch because sometimes you don't get it your way.
As much as I consider abortion an abomination, a bigger abomination is giving our government the power to control our medical lives.
Ask anyone that has been forced directly or indirectly by government to get vaccinated so as to be able to continue to feed their families.
Which brings up another subject.
Many of the same women that have screeched,"Our bodies, our choice!" and have demanded the government force the vaccine on the unwilling are by default giving up their right to an abortion on demand.
By insisting the government force the jab on someone that doesn't want it they are giving the government the power to cotrol our medical lives and that includes abortion. In fact it also gives government the power to force an abortion on someone that does not want one.
Friday, May 6, 2022
I am still occasionally hearing about the time I defended liberty which is what I did once.
This goes back quite a number of years but some Skinhead/Klan group wanted to hold a rally in a medium sized city and the mayor stood up and told the people that he was not going to permit it.
Frankly I don't think the mayor really cared but being a political animal he was counting the votes. That and he figured the rally would probably lead to counterprotests and a brawl of sorts.
Of course I had to put my two cents worth in and wrote the mayor a letter (remember those?) supporting liberty and justice for ALL and all means all. I told him it was unAmerican to not let the jerks have their say. Liberty and justice for all means all...including the people you don't like.
My letter proved to be moot as the Skinheads took it to court and justice prevailed and they got their permit. The rally was held and street justice prevailed. They got bombarded with enough old produce to feed all of the starving people in China, India or wherever for quite some time. Then the crowd ran out of produce and roared in and the Skinheads took to their heels and that was that. The End.
Except that I got a lot of misinterpreted crap over that letter I wrote.
They said I was supporting the Skinheads which I was not by any stretch of an intelligent imagination. I was supporting basic human rights. Skinheads have the same rights the rest of us do and if they want to hold a rally, that's fine by me.
No government entiry has a right to stop them no matter what cause they support so long as they behave themselves. Yup. Antifa has the right to demonstrate as does the Klan, pro-Trumpers, John Birchers, Estemenians for the prevention of fat people, Christians, Hindus, Muslims, Jews, Satanists and every other group out there that is willing to behave themselves.
Even the Irish!
Of course if the go tearing stuff up all bets are off. They have no right to complain if they wind up wearing a Bronx party hat after getting a hickory shampoo during the uproar they caused.
People are easily fooled. They always seem to forget that if they give the powers that be the go-ahead to stifle someone else they have given them the go-ahead to stifle THEM a little further down the line. They allow the prescedent to be set.
They sell their rights out for what they see as a little temporary safety and the truth is when they do they get neither in the long run.
As for the person that gave me a snotty remark over the letter I wrote years ago, I correctly told him he didn't understand liberty then and he doesn't understand it now.
He said that by letting the rally be held a brawl occurred. I pointed out that the Founding Fathers expected that sort of thing to happen during highly emotional protests. They knew that the Constitution could withstand differences of opinion. They also it could not withstand giving the government the right to pick and choose what causes they were to support and who they could deny of their rights.
Actually I told him he is just as stupid as he was so many years ago and that I am not surprised because Ron White was spot on when he said you can't fix stupid.
Thursday, May 5, 2022
I have sensitivity.
I wonder about the young girl I met at the supermarket. She was behind me in line. She was a bubbly young girl, just free of being a toddler.
When I noticed her I tipped my hat and said, "How are you, young lady."
She blushed and was shy but then got brave and replied "Fine," and did kind of a courtsy. "How are you, Old man?" she replied.
I laughed and told her I was fine and the mother stepped in and raised hell with her for calling me an old man which I am.
I told the mother to butt out and said she was young enough to not know any better and I was too old to care what anyone thought.
Still I wonder about that beautiful child as it won't be long before she enters middle age in a couple of years. It happens in school pretty quickly.
Right now I want to sit on the bench with one of two people. One or the other or maybe even both at different times.
I either want to sit with a young girl of maybe 4 or 5 and eat an ice cream cone or sit on the same bench and split a half pint of bourbon with a 95 year old man.
Same difference. Both will speak the truth. She's too young to know and he's too old to care.
Wednesday, May 4, 2022
Now here's one for you folks back home.
The dreaded middle seat.
I wrote this a while back and discovered it. I'll post it now. I'm home now.
I have a flight coming up and this time I can't see or plan my flight because United won't let me do anything uptil 24 hours before the flight.
I won't know my seat or boarding group until then.
Needless to say, I am worried about two things. First the dreaded middle seat because it's a fairly safe bet I'll get stuck between a pair of morbidly obese stinkpots as usual and that if I board at the end there won't be room for my carry on and it will be 'pink ticketed' and I'll have to wait in the jetway for my stuff.
Waiting like this sucks.
While it IS a nonstop flight and I don't have to run all over hell's half acre to make a connection, the convenience is overcome by either the dreaded middle seat or having my stuff pink ticketed.
When I get stuck in the last boarding group I generally stuff my carry-on into the first available hole I can find if there still is one.
Funny that I found a nonstop and consider it kind of a left handed blessing. Still, I really miss Southwest because they make flying fun again.
What would be ideal is a Southwest direct flight, or even one with a 1.5 hour connection at some smaller airport like Midway. However Southwest seems to have priced themselves out of the market for some reason. With Southwest I generally pay the $25 for earlybird check in and get priority boarding. I don't backcharge the $25 to my employer because I do this for MY personal convenience.
I've actually gotten first and second row seats this way and I learned that the first row sucks because you don't get a drop-down table and have to juggle and refreshements they give you. Second row is the way to go.
Corporate travel is generally all about price and a couple of times I have gotten the company to upgrade me from basic economy to economy because in the long run it was either the same or cheaper after they added the baggage expenses some airlines charge.
It also saves paperwork because if I get charged for my carry-on I send it in as an expense and the paperwork is a nuisance for my supervisor. With United it's generally the difference between basic economy (the really cheap seats) and economy. Economy is often a $30 upgrade and you get a free carry-on. With basic economy you sometimes get hit with about $35 charge for your carry-on. Do the math.
I am not really too tech savvy and don't play the 'download the app on your phone' game. I either print my boarding pass on a printer or get it at the airport. Right now there's a piece of painter's tape on the back of my phone and it has my airline reference number on it written with a Sharpie. That way when I get to the kiosk I just whip my phone out instead of having to fish through my pockets for the printout. It makes things a bit easier.
One other thing. If they recommend I get to the airport 120 minutes before the flight I do just that. Yeah, I know. I hear stories all the time about how someone got to the airport six minutes before take-off and managed not to miss his flight. I ain't Indiana Jones. Besides my ass is sensitive and I don't like getting hit there by the door on the way in.
I had a flight once where the travel people had botched something or another and I had to go to the ticket counter and get things sorted out. It was during peak Covid so the airlines were not busy. Still, it took time and while I made my flight with some time to spare, had it been a very busy non Covid day I might have had a problem.
Anyway I am waiting and have already figured out my battle plan.
If I get stuck in the dreaded middle seat, so be it. If I get an aisle seat or even a window but stuck in the last boarding group I can live with it...kinda.
If I get stuck in the last boarding group I will stumble in with a pronounced limp and grumble about it. They'll likely board me earlier as a cripple which is at least a little more tolorable.
Protip: When boarding an airplane, don't ask the first class passengers if they have any Grey Poupon mustard. A lot of them don't have a sense of humor.
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Update.
The damned airline wouldn't let me check in and get my assigned seat until 24 hours before departure. I checked in 23:59:59 beforehand and snagged the second to last aisle seat. Fifteen bucks bought me boarding group 2. Boarding group 2 is acceptable. The $15 is money well spent because now I know there's room for my carry-on. Had this been a Southwest flight I would have cheerfully paid the extra $25 for early bird check-in. It's cheap insurance to avoid the much feared last minute pick it up on the jetway pink ticket.
I am good to go. I won't need the Ace bandage and the cane.
We shall see what we shall see come oh-dark thirty tomorrow morning.
Aftermath.
A rather non eventful flight and we got in a couple of minutes early.
One of the attendants gave me an extra bag of peanuts because I was cheerful to her when I came aboard and made her laugh. I said to her sarcastically, "Well, are you ready for another thrilling adventure in the glamorous travel industry?"
Tuesday, May 3, 2022
Let's let the cat make this post.
fgx;'[hbgwa[;pvfcqpfgz
Kitty is being a pest. He's looking out the window at birds and pacing across the keyboard to see out both sides of the window.
Two pens are now on the floor and later on if I don't snag them now they will wind up under the desk.
Oh, well.
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
Thank God for double standards
because if we didn't have them we'd have no standards at all these days.
Monday, May 2, 2022
Here in PA someone just shot a couple of people that tried to rob him.
So far the evidence justifies the shooting. It was an attempted robbery and it is what it is. Someone tried to rob somebody and the victim of the robbery decided he was going to legally defend himself. Fine.
Then it gets reported. The people that got shot are referred to as victims. Sorry I don't buy it unless the press refers to the deceased as being victims of their own stupidity.
The sad part of the entire thing is the real 'victim' now has to live with himself. He's the victim. He's a bona fide crime victim.
As for the robbers? They're not really victims at all. Theu just got what they deserved.
Sunday, May 1, 2022
More stupid from high places.
You MUST be 21 to purchase smoking cessation aids that contain nicotine because nicotine is an addictive substance.
So some poor kid that started smoking at the ripe old age of 12 is now 17 and decided to quit.
How does he purchase smoking cessation aids legally?
I don't think the criminals that have kept him in Camels and Marlboros are going to want to sell them to him because they want to keep him smoking and keep taking his money for smokes.
I guess the poor kid is going to have to keep smoking until he turns 21.
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