Friday, November 26, 2010

Piccolo braves the mobs on Black Friday

My brother in law and I had a pretty good turkey dinner over at his house yeterday and he did a damned good job. Dinner was the way I like it because men are generaly better cooks and don't dote around everything as much as women do. They do things simply. They leave fire alone let it do it's job.

Over the big screen TV and 'The Godfather' the discussion of digital cameras came up. I have wanted one for years and I scanned a couple of Black Friday ads and saw one that he recommended. It was for sale at Wal-Mart and was about $100 off of MSRP.

Now I have never gone out on Black Friday before because when I go to the zsoo I prefer that the animals are kept in cages, but I decided to think this one out and tempt fate.

I did my homework and saw that the camera I wanted was going on sale at 0500. I set my alarm.

Now there are at least 3 or 4 Wally Worlds in my general area of operation and I thought that one out. I figured the Super Center would just be a brawl, ao I opted for the smaller of the ones in my area, which was also the closest.

0400 came and the alarm cranked off. My regular alarm clock had up and died, so I used my cell phone alarm clock which meant that at 0400 I was awakened by the Official Tarzan yell which I have very mixed feelings about using it as a wake up, but it sure does the job.

I woke up right then and there and got out of bed, picked up my skin and put it back on, having jumped out of it s nanosecond earlier. I was up.

Then I pulled on my pants and stuck my feet into my boots and without so much as a cup off coffee, I slapped a quick snack in the cat's dish and went out and fired up the trusty Tacoma and off I went.

In the Tacoma there was a nasty old leftover dinner mint from Fat Ass Charlies Chinese Buffet so I popped it into my mouth to get the nasty taste of yesterdays dinner, bourbon and eggnog out of my mouth and off I went to Wally World.

The roads were about as busy as a normal weekday which was a pretty good omen of the bad things to come and as I pulled into Wally World I was overwhelmed by the amount of cars parked there. The place was chock-a-block full and there seemed to be dozens of cars driving aimlessly seeking out a parking place.

I knew better than to enter that fray, and out in left field somewhere I noticed a nook that was not really an officila parking spot, but wasn't marked as a no parking zone. I stuffed the Taco into the hole and wandered in. I had about 20 minutes before the gong went off.

When I entered it looked like most of the shoppers were probably mildly hung over and still terribly bloated from gorging themselves on turkey. They waddled around like they had just been pulled out of the sack on their first day of Basic training after two hours of sleep.

There were more than one of the shoppers in bathrobe and slippers.

I suppose I didn't look much better being in jeans, cowboy boots and a wool shirt still belching and farting from the feast I had just finished a few hours ago. At least I had gone light on the booze so I wasn't hung over.


II quickly headed over to the electronics section and the employees were setting up for the big 0500 shop-a-thon and the area was mobbed. I asked a three of the employees where the 'Nikon-that-is-on-sale' rack was going to be set up. The first two didn't know, the third ons said it was going to be at the camera counter, so I broke away from the mob scene and headed over and got in line,

My guess is that everyone that wanted this camera was over with the mob scene waiting for them to bring the rack out because I was fourth in line.

It wasn't but a few seconds before the line grew and I was glad I had chanced breaking off from the crowd.

The guy behind me mentioned that there were 21 of the cameras I wanted available so I relaxed.

The system was that when you got to the head of the line you told the clerk which camera you wanted and he reached into one of several boxes, handed it to you and you paid for it on the spot. This is presumably to prevent shoplifting, which is fair enough.

When the sale started the guy at the head of the line wanted the clerk to explain the difference between the two camera sets that were on sale and it particularly galled me. The jerk should have done his homework and known exactly what he wanted.

Someone behind me said something and the jerk turned and looked indignant.

He looked at me for sympathy. Wrong move.

"The kid's right,Pal." I said. "You should have done your homework."

He made his choice and wandered off.

The next woman gave her order and laid the EXACT amount of money out, including tax. She was gone in a second.

The woman that was in front of me had her Visa out, ordered and was gone in a flash, off to get something else. I could tell she was a power shopper.

I went up at bat, my Visa hit the counter and I ordered. The clerk handed me the goods, charged it to my card. I signed and left.

I had what I wanted, and had gotten it for a song. I took my goods and made a beeline for the door.

When I neared my truck I checked the time. It was 0511.

At 0512 I slipped the clutch on the Tacoma and headed toward home.

Black Friday was now over for me.

Never again will I venture out into such chaos.

I think I can do just as well on line.

Last night I searched and found the same thing on line at the same price including shipping. When you get right down to it, I would have actually saved a couple bucks because I wouldn't have gotten clouted for sales tax.

The only reason I braved the mob scene is because I would have been at sea when it arrived.

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