Wednesday, September 26, 2012

I had beer pancakes for breakfast yesterday

 for the first time in quite some time and they were pretty good even though I didn't make them from scratch. I used the basic Aunt Jemima 'just add water' mix only instead of adding water I used beer. The night before I opened a beer and left it on the counter overnight.

It reminded me of a visit to one of my friends several years ago and he had one of his relatives over that he quietly explained to me waas a pain in the ass. I was passing through town and he had offered to let me stay if I promised to make breakfast as he had acquired a taste for my cooking while we roomed together in Alaska for a while.

I think his relative wa a cousin and he warned me that he was a little on the do-good side and he said he wouldn't interfere if she pissed me off which she did almost instantly.

I had planned on beer pancakes and one of my then well known omelets consisting of whatever I could scrape out of a refrigerator.

I opened a quart of beer and put it on the kitchen counter and almost instantly the cousin put the cap back on and put it back in the refrigerator. I pulled it out and uncapped it and said nothing.

He recapped it and told me it would go flat.

I simply uncapped it and crushed the cap and tossed it in the wastebasket and said nothing and put the bottle back on the counter.

Of course, he complained to Bill and Bill told him simply to leave things alone.

"I don't understand, The beer will go flat." said the cousin.

"Not as flat as your head will end up if you don't learn to leave things that don't concern you alone," I interrupted. "Stop trying to save people from themselves. All it does is puts gets you in trouble."

"Well, the beer is going to go flat," he said, knowingly and with indignation in his voice.

I paid him no mind and walked off and told him to leave things alone and learn something.

The next morning I made breakfast and he watched me make up the pancakes and looked in horror as I dumped beer into the pancake flour.

"You can't start drinking this early!" he cried. "You'll be drunk before noon!"

I gave him a dirty look and he wandered off.

"Did it ever occur to you that the alcohol will burn off when he cooks them?" Bill asked him.

"Oh," said the cousin.

We ate breakfast and shortly after I left.

Several months later I asked Bill if his cousin had learned anything and he said he hadn't.

I told Bill that I figured he hadn't because some people won't learn.

I have met people like this for years and it wasn't until Ron White put it so eloquently when he said, "You can't fix stupid."

I've got half a flat beer in the fridge and I think I'll make more pancakes tomorrow morning and I'll end this now because I have to take it out and put it on the counter
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