I almost got kicked out of Lowe's yesterday.

I had a few items I was taking up to the register and the assistant manager tried to divert me into the self-service checkout which I hate.

It really doesn't work all the time and I often get screwed up with an item with a smudged bar code or other glitch. A human generally does it quicker and easier when you hit the usual snag.

Anyway, I told the manager I'd wait because the self-checkout sucked. He scowled. Then said he was just trying to save me time.

That's when I went in for the kill. I went straight into my 'Jerry Mathers as the Beaver' mode. I looked up at him with the look of a young naive boy that was totally incapable of any guile.

"Gee, Mister! If that poor old woman loses her job she might hafta become a prostitute or something!" I said.

He turned purple as the people nearby started laughing out loud. The older woman behind the register looked up sharply  like she had been insulted. Suddenly she understood the context of what I had said and started laughing herself silly.

She looked over to me with mischief, laughter and with clear, sparkling eyes.

"Hey, Sweetie! Ya lookin' for a good time?" she asked.

Now everyone busted up except for the assistant manager who stormed off with smoke coming out of his ears.

What a great way to start a day!






To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY