I was grub shopping at a local Wally World and when I had the order rung up I simply told the clerk to take all of the stuff and place it in an empty cart without bagging any of it. He said he wasn’t really supposed to but I assured him it would be OK and he did what I wanted him to.
I did this because I didn’t want to unbag the stuff out in the parking lot. I had a couple of plastic Rubbermaid totes in the bed of my truck which make it a lot easier than carrying a bunch of bags.
I got stopped by the security lady at the door and showed her my receipt. She said the stuff should be bagged. She said the clerk was supposed to bag my order and asked why the clerk didn’t.
I live by a code that says when someone does me a favor I am obligated to cover for the favor doer. It is my responsibility, not his. If I drop a sputtering grenade, it is my responsibility and my job to jump on it.
I looked at the woman. “He didn’t bag the groceries because I told him that if he did I would knock him out.”
She looked shocked. “Why would you knock him out?” she asked.
“Because it is easier than breaking both of his legs,” I replied.
“Why would you harm him at all?” She asked.
“I didn’t have to because he didn’t put my groceries in bags like I told him to,” I replied.
“Why don’t you want your groceries in bags?” she asked.
“Because of the code I live by,” I answered.
“What code is that?” she asked.
“The one I learned in prison after I murdered some woman that asked me too many inane questions,” I replied. “You do know that the recidivism rate for people that murder people that ask too many questions is pretty high. Stop me asking questions before I kill again!”
The guy behind me laughed like hell.
“You, sir, are a true professional,” he said. “I have the day off. Could I follow you around?”
To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY