Friday, September 30, 2016

Fairness is an argument for idiots and children.

 Fairness isn’t an objective quality of the universe.

(I stole this from another guy on a website I frequent. I found it interesting.)


One of the things that doesn't work very well is trying to shame me into something.

It doesn''t really matter what it is. I don't shame very well. Part of it is I will admit to just about anything...or even something that is worse than what you are using to try amd shame me with.

A while ago someone tried to shame me into helping out with some woman's club. They needed a pickup. I was slick and offered to loan it to the woman and she seemed not to be as pleased as she should have. It wasn't enough. She wanted me not only to drive it but to load it.

I saw how that was going when she said she couldn't drive a stick.

So she asked me what I was doing that evening that was more important. This was a feeble attempt to shame me into helping her out. It was also a mistake.

I pointed to the minister sticker on the pickup and explained that my ministry helped feed the small children of single mothers.

"Oh, I didn't know that," she said. 

That's when I went in for the kill. "If the men of my congregation don't get to the club tonight and put our dollar bills into those poor single mother's G-strings, their babies will go hungry," I said.

It took a few seconds for it to sink in but when it did she blushed and snapped, "Those women are a third of your age!" 

"Yeah," I replied, dryly. "They are getting a little too old for my tastes."

She stormed off in an outraged huff.

So feeling good about myself, I poured myself a pretty good snort of Jim Beam and sat on the retaining wall.

It wasn't long before my cell phone went off and one of the neighbors asked me what I had said to the woman and I told her everything. She's known me for years and has a pretty good sense of humor.

"So she tried to shame you into helping her out?" she asked.

'Yup," I answered.

"That wasn't a smart move on her part, now, was it?" she asked, rhetorically.

"Nope," I answered. "C'mon over and I'll buy you a drink."

I looked down the street and saw her come up the street and got a cold beer out of the garage fridge. When she arrived I handed it to her.

She laughed when she saw me and took the proffered brew and opened it. She's a good neighbor and a no frills type. She shook her head and laughed. "So, going to the club tonight?" she asked.

"No money for lap dances and I owe the coke dealers too much money," I replied. 

She laughed. She knew I was talking trash. She also knows I hate strip clubs because I had worked in one once. She also knows I do not do drugs and that my line of work give me drug tests randomly.

Her husband came driving by. He had gotten out of work late. He stopped and I hooked my thumb to the garage fridge. He parked, got out and grabbed a beer.

His wife told him the woman up the street had tried to shame me into helping her out and told her what I had said to her. He laughed outright and popped open the beer.

A friendly cop drove by and waved. We waved back.

I looked at the two of them. "He'll never pin the convenience store robbery on me," I said. "Because I was robbing the bank a block away when it happened."

They both laughed. 

Trying to shame me into doing something I don't want to do is a waste of time. I don't see why people even bother trying.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

No comments:

Post a Comment