The cannibalism story, or my first time out from Nextdoor.
This is just the gist of it.
The original posted stated that some derelict looking guy stood on her front porch for 45 minutes and walked off. She asked what she should have done.
As is often the case the first post nailed it. They told her she should have called the police and let him explain to Officer Friendly what he was doing there.
The answer made sense. That’s what the police are for.
Of course the second answer she got was some wag that suggested she answer the door with a shotgun.
I replied that shotguns are passe. The proper tool to answer the door with is a kukri because nothing says that not only am I going to hack you up, I am also going to eat you like a kukri does.
Some stick up her ass self-rightous woman posted that what I had said was cannibalism and that something was wrong with me for even thinking such a thing.
I shot back that I have a big family to support and have to cut a few corners. You just grind him up, sneak it into the spaghetti sauce and the kids will never know the difference.
She replied she was sending a screenshot into the police department and that the police ought to dig up my back yard and when the find human remains, arrest me.
(I hope she DID send the screenshot to the police department. The cops could use a good laugh)
Anyway, I fired back that I hope they dug it up soon because I was getting ready to plant my annual marijuana crop.
She screeched that marijuana growing was illegal so I replied that as soon as it was planted I turn it over to my kids so they can sell it to their classmates for a little pocket money. When you have 19 children you have to do whatever it takes to get by.
She asked me how I could possibly have 19 children.
I asked her if her mother ever had a little talk with her when she was a little girl and tell her where babies come from.
That’s when I got my time out.
You told me you were going to tell me this story another time. So I now get to read it. Oh the irony of the sublime. sr
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