Thursday, February 17, 2022

At Las Vegas airport

As you may have remembered from previous posts, I generally travel in safari jackets because they have fout fairly decent sized pockets.

So I sat down next to a trash can and fished a small can of spaghetti and a plastic spoon out of my pocket, opened it and ate. I didn't realize but I was being watched. As I was licking the spoon clean and putting it away my observer came up to me laughing and asked me, "Army or Marines?"

"Army. Why are you asking?" I replied.

"I'm former Army, too. Nobody like a GI or former GI eats an entire can of spaghetti in four untasting gulps like a veteran does." he said.

Guilty as charged. We laughed.

I got disgusted with airport food some time ago with the exception of Smashburger at MSP. It's insanely overpriced and if I cut a corner here and here it means I can easily snag a bottle of bourbon when I get home with the savings. Actually I can afford and entire handle if I wanted one and still come out ahead a little.

Oh yeah, much to their credit, at PIT Chik Fil A is halfway decent about not gouging the holy hell out of travelers. They're just slightly more expensive than you'd pay at the Chick Fil A back in good old Hometown USA. They're really a decent company and they owe the LGBTQ activists a sock in the eye. They're not homophobic but I digress.

Still, I have started bringing my own chow with me when I go cross country on principle because I don't like gougers and haven't since I got whacked $45 for a burger and a beer somewhere along the line. I didn't even get to sit down and be waited on. I picked it up and took it to a greasy table.

I did buy a cup of coffee in Las Vagas and it was something like $3 which I'm not complaining about. I did that not only because I wanted the coffee but because I wanted a charge from Las Vegas on my credit card. When I get the credit card bill I generally sit down and go over my expenses. Keeping an eye on things keeps one's spending habits for useless stuff in check.

I'll label the $3 coffee charge 'gambling in Vagas' because sometimes if I leave my reconciliation on the table my wife takes a peek out of curiosity and she'll see the notation ask about it. 

Huh, Now I remember the time I paid a bill at the bank and got back 19 cents change. I looked at it and gave the teller a wide eyed and said, "Wow1 Nineteen cents! A fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that money!" I stole that line from Slim Pickins in Dr Strangelove. The teller laughed and the teller next to her asked what I's spend such a fantastic amount of money on and I snapped back, "Hookers and blow!"

I was somewhat surprised to see all three woman tellers laughing themselves silly. I was expecting a wry look but was not disappointed. Karen who was behind me announced she didn't think that was very funny. I asked her is she was trying to pick me up and she turned purple. I scraped my nineteen cents off the counter and pocketed it on my way out. All three women were laughing harder sa I left. 

The following month I wandered in to pay my bill and the same woman was behind the counter. She told me that the Karen had come up to her and asked, "Did that man insinuate I'm a prostitute?" She said her reply is "I don't know. I guess you could follow him out and ask him. The Karen then proceeded to get snitty with the teller.

I told the teller "She's have to pay ME...a LOT." and she chuckled as did the teller next to her.

I paid by check that time so I didn't get any change. I guess I didn't get to go to Vegas that weekend.


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To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

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