recommended that I eat a 6 ounce piece of steak for a few days.
"Six ounces!" I shot back. "Anything under 28 ounces isn't even worth firing up the grill over!"
Protip: Don't say stuff like that to a Johns Hopkins dietician. You get a big lecture. I don't remember a single word of it because God gave me two ears. It went in one ear and out the other.
She was no supermodel and should have been taking her own advice.
Another time I got a big lecture on the evils of smoking from another health care type.
When she was finished with her lecture I bummed a cigarette off of her.
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One time I was getting a lecture by an old aunt. In the middle of it I put a finger in my ear and she demanded to know why I did that.
"Because you are now beginning to make a little sense," I answered. "I was just letting your lecture go in one ear and out the other but you were starting to make a little sense so I'm letting it bang around in my head. Don't worry, when you start babbling again I'll pull it out."
She sarted babbling again and I removed it. She stormed away in a huff.
My dad was in next room and I realized he heard everything. When I started to enter the room he pulled up a newspaper and started reading it. Later on I figured it was to keep me from seeing the amused look on his face.
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