Sorry. After I wrote the title I just remembered I bought a new pillow the other day and had to grab the scissors and cut the little tag off of it because I am a criminal and that's what criminals do. There isn't a mattress or a pillow in the house that has one of those obnoxious little tags on them. Bite me. Put me in jail.
There are a number of crimes out there I would be proud to be arrested for. Just because something is illegal doesn't make it wrong and just because something is legal doesn't make it right.
“I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.”
― An awful lot of people don't seem to get it. The number of suburbanites that would have ratted out Anne Frank seems to be growing in leaps and bounds.
I don't really pay much attention to speed limit signs with the exception of those flashing school zone signs. In a way they make sense to me and I obey them. Still, other than that I ignore a lot of signage.
I don't bother with them because I look at my surroundings. I cruise through residential neighborhoods slowly to avoid an accident. Little kids can dart out onto the street in a nanosecond (adults can sometimes be scarier. Some of them don't think the laws of physics apply to them) so I try and be aware and keep my speed down.
The instant I see a ball of any sort come even close to the street it's an instant stop because there's usually a kid coming after it.
Once years ago when I was a lot faster I stopped, bailed out, grabbed the ball and fired it to the catcher who tagged a runner out. I'm pretty proud of that one.
One time several years ago I was stopped on the turnpike for driving about 25 or 30 in the breakdown lane. It was during a major ice storm and the trooper asked me why I was going so slow.
"Because I'm not stupid like most everyone else,"I shot back. "In case you have not noticed, we're in the middle of an ice storm."
"I wish more people thought like you," he said as someone roared past us at the posted speed limit of about 70.
I looked at the cop and said, "I got $20 (illegal gambling)that says that clown winds up in the ditch. You know, you could ticket me for driving below the posted minimum. Under the circumstances I'd be proud to take the ticket."
"I can't blame you for being proud of that ticket which I am not going to write and I'm not touching that bet with a ten foot pole!" replied the cop with a grin. "Stay safe!" and he left. I resumed my slow pilgrimage home.
I saw numerous cars in the ditch that night. The cop not wanting to take the bet didn't surprise me even a little bit. It took me hours but I got home intact.
The other day I chose convenience over convention and walked in the out door at Lowe's and someone actually pointed out that I was going in the out door. "It's OK," I replied. "I'm in with the out crowd."
He didn't know what to say in the presence of such a desperate criminal and walked away quickly.
I suppose you are wondering who pissed in my corn flakes this morning and it was a comment on Nextdoor wondering what I meant by criminal activity over a little kid's lemonade stand.
Over the years I've done a lot of business with many youthful criminals.
I'm retired now and mow my own lawn but when I was at sea I would knowingly and willfully hire an unlicensed youthful tax evader to keep the yard trimmed up while I was away. By doing so I was willingly patronizing a criminal enterprise and contributing to the delinquincy of a minor. So arrest me. I'd be PROUD to take the hit.
The same goes for lemonade stands which I religiously patronize.
The laundry list of crimes committed there is pretty long in some places. Let's see. No business license, no Board of Health inspection, child labor laws, tax evasion for starters and God only knows what else they can dig up.
Patronizing one is a pretty serious crime, too. Contributing to the delinquincy of a minor, knowingly patronizing a criminal enterprise and probably a dozen more crimes are commited by every customer.
Bite me. I'd be PROUD to go to jail for that one.
God only knows what would happen to me if anyone found out I hired a high school kid from the local Vo-Tech to put on a muffler for me a while back. He did a first class job as to be expected.
Of course the criminal justice system actually sees it for what it is. It's an ambitious kid mowing a lawn for a few bucks or a kid's lemonade stand making a few nickels and dimes. It is what it is.
Still, it amazes me that there are people that want to make criminals out of thin air. I guess these are the very same people that would have ratted out Anne Frank to the Gestapo.
"Officer! Oficer! Jews live there! There's a secret room in that building!" I can picture it now.
I got news for those that think they are getting brownie points with the powers that be for being a snitch. You get no respect from the powers that be. Even Joseph Stalin said he had no respect for them because he wondered about the character of someone that would rat out their friends and neighbors. Of course he cheerfully accepted the information they provided...
One political officer got so sick and tired of a snitch ratting everyone out that he decided the easiest thing to do was to ship her off to the Gulag. Surprise! Adios! Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.
Needless to say, if you witness a legitimate crime of some sort it is your duty to report it.
Some dopey kid hanging outside a convenience store asking someone to buy beer for him isn't a real crime. It's more of a rite of passage. I've done it as a kid and also quite recently as my license didn't scan and the software refused the sale. I wanted a beer and remembered how the game was played so I went outside at the ripe old age of 71 and started asking people to grab me a 24 ounce can of Coors.
I was astonished at the number of middle aged people that got upset so I lowered my sights and aimed at a younger crowd. I was aiming at people in their early 20s. I soon found a champion that handed me my beer and he confessed he was still 19 and wanted to try out the bogus ID he had bought on line for $20.
God bless the little criminal! I laughed myself silly.
It is a strange world when a 71 year old man has to have his beer bought for him by a teenager with a fake ID. It's sad how stupid the world has gotten.
As for buying beer for minors? I've done it a couple of times for GIs returning from a deployment. When you ask a kid to grab a gun and ship out overseas he loses his minority status in my opinion.
Sidebar. One mistake Reagan did was to raise the on post drinking age to 21. It used to be all GIs could drink in the EM club regardless of age. It actually served a purpose. The EM club was a controlled, safe atmosphere and the Sp/4s and junior NCOs could keep an eye on the privates and insure their safety.
Generally speaking, by the time a GI was discharged he had a pretty good idea of how much was enough and how much was too much.
Now that it is illegal (more stupid from high places) it still takes place but not in a safe enviornment. Now they drive off post instead of walk to an EM club or slop chute.
There's actually a cop I used to routinely confess my 'crimes' to every so often and he'd laugh like hell. He told me he had a kid do some yardwork a while ago which I teased him about contributing to the delinquincy of a minor.
He knew I was venting at stupidity and once he asked me what kind of nefarious activity I was up to now. IIRC I told him I ran with scissors earlier that day.
Every once in a while the cops belt one out of the park. A police chief once posted a Facebook picture of one of his officers kneeling behind his car aiming some kind of shoulder fired rocket launcher at the street as if he was waiting for someone to pass by. I think he said "We're going to start enforcing the speed limit on Elm Street." or something along these lines. It was actually a head's up and about 90% of the comments came from an amused town populace.
Of course there were the obligatory 10% idiots that posted the usual assortment of wide eyed comments. What? What? You can't shoot at cars with a bazooka!" It was hilarious.
Apparently the 10%ers don't know how to take a head's up from a police chief with a pretty good sense of humor.
Still, the all time record (that I have heard about) of a police sense of humor still goes to the county sheriff that responded to constant complaints by one nasty old woman over a lemonade stand staged a 40 car raid on it and carted the little kid away in handcuffs.
Later when asked about how much overtime was paid out, he replied that all of the officers that were not on duty were off duty volunteers and it didn't cost the taxpayers a dime.
Picollo, you are a man after my own heart! Keep up the civil disobedience and the Karens and Kens having melt downs.
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