Saturday, October 30, 2010

Well, Lowes moved in nearby

And it goes without saying I had to check out their grand opening.

Outside was a car dealer offering all sorts of deals on GMCs. I walked by with the body language and aura of a guy tha did not want to be bothered, but it is totally impossible for ANYONE in the car business to keep their damned mouth shut so when they opened it, I shut it for them.

"Hey, ya interested in that?" he asked, pointing to a vehicle I neither wanted nor could afford. It was the antithisis of the kind of vehicle I would own. A big, heavy, clunky hard to park oversized truck with a monster V-8 in it. If you gave it to me for free I would drive it home, park it, and sell it instantly. Until it sold the behemoth would sit in my driveway undriven.

"No way in hell. I don't buy iron. I buy quality vehicles made in the United States by a company called Toyota. This piece of junk is 74% made overseas," I shot back. "Mine is made in the USA by Americans."

I didn't close his mouth, instead he stood there agape as a couple of other people chuckled at the poor bastards plight. Too damned bad. Already it was showing signs of being a good day. I had embarrassed a car salesman and that is the makings of a very good day.

Then there was the usual assortment of peddlers, vendors and grand opening raffles to sign up for. I signed up for none of these because the truth is I have everything I need and another drill or skilsaw will only get in the way. I am trying to dejunk these days and NOT collect more junk even if it is free.

ESPECIALLY if it is free.

I was handed a 10% off card, whch saved me two bucks on what I bought there, which is OK by me.

Of course, the neighbors were there and I got dragged into something at the paint counter.

I am not a paint guy and Larry was there along with the guy across the street and none other than Neighbor Bob. Larry is one of those guys that likes to make people look stupid. He will ask you what you think about something and then argue with you because he knows everything. After the first time he pulled that on me I've avoided taking his bait for years.

I remember a couple of years ago when he spilled an entire gallon of paint in his driveway, but I said nothing.

"Hey, Pic, whaddya think I out to look for in a can of paint for my shutters?" he asked.

Neighbor Bob flinched, he knows me and knows I have avoided Larrys bait for a long time. He also sensed I wasn't in the mood to suffer his foolishness because he knew I wasn't in the best of moods.

'Judging from the mass you made a couple years ago, you might want the guy at the paint counter to put a little sticker on the bottom of the can that says 'open other end'," I answered, innocently.

The guy from across the street fought off a snarf, Bob surpressed a smirk and I wandered off. Betcha both Bob and the guy across the street buy me a beer inside the next few days.

The next thing that happened is that some employee cheerfully asked me if I lived nearby and I told her I did.

So it goes without saying that she asked me about how wonderful it was that they were so close and I didn't have to travel far at all.

Wrong move.

I pointed out that had they opened a mile and a half down the road I would have been a whole lot happier because now there will be a whole lot more vehicular traffic in my area for starters and then there will be more riff-raff dragged up from the city area to contend with. I pointed out that all I need is some failed carpenter, loser contractor or run of the mill crackhead to figure out tht Alcoa aluminum gutters get sixty-five cents a pound and can be removed in seconds and Lowes is not going to replace mine for free if I get vandalized.

Apparently she lives close because she admitted, "I never thought of that." and replaced her elated look with a concerned one.

No, I am NOT a happy camper and I am NOT glad that a Lowes has moved in so close to me because the next step is a Homeless Depot will open up a block from them, followed by a Super Wally World followed by a Target followed by ad nauseum.

Our police department will be stretched thinner until they decide more officers are needed and taxes will then increase and my spendable income will decrease and the Lowes organization will get richer partially at my expense. Because of the increased traffic, there will be accidents and my auto insurance will cost me more money.

I would have been more than happy to drive an extra three minutes down the main drag and spend the quarters worth of gas to go a mile and a half further down the road. For what this is going to cost me over the next few years it would take an awful lot of trips a mile or two further to make it even close to worthwhile.

Sometimes you have to think of more than a false sense of convenience.

my other blog is:

No comments:

Post a Comment