Thursday, August 15, 2013

Looks like today is going to be a pretty day

and I will be out in it.

Yesterday was unseasonably cold for August and it makes me think we are in for a hard winter. Yesterday Neighbor Bob said he's going to fire up the snow blower come 15 October and I don't blame him.

I hate snow with a passion.

I just went into the garage for a minute and noticed the canteen cups there. They get issued in the rare times one of my relatives visits. I issue one of them to their kids and put their name on it with grease pencil. It saves a lot of work as kids are always drinking something. Water, juice, something. I issue a 20 ounce thermal mug to their parents.

It's a practical thing and although is is unusual, it seems to work out fine.

Hey, the cat just passed in front of me and walked AROUND the keyboard!!  That's a first..

I think that maybe today I'll put out a salt lick for the deer or maybe get one and put it out in the late fall.

Tomorrow or Saturday I'm going to have to chase down one of the neighborhood kids and pay him for doing a job for me when I was out of town. He weeded my marigolds and I owe him a couple of bucks but before I could pay him his folks Shanghai'id him and took him out of town to see his fat aunt in Illinois for a week.

When he agreed to do the weeding he told me he was going to visit his aunt.

"You really don't want to go, do you?" I asked.


"Let's see. she's old, fat, wears a lot of makeup and gallons of cheap perfume, slobbers all over you and it takes hours to get the lipstick off of your cheek after she kisses you." I replied.

He looked suspiciously at me. "How did you know?" he asked.

"It's in the manual," I replied. "Page 46, article 2, amendment
8, subsection D-2. paragraph B-12."

"Where's the manual?" he asked.

"On the shelf in the living room," I replied.

He started to go into the garage to go upstairs to find the manual and stopped. "You're teasing me," he said. "There's no manual."

"You're getting smarter now, Kid." I answered.

"C'mon, Mr Pic. How did you know?" he asked.

"Every family has one," I replied. "They pinch you cheeks at weddings and say 'You're next!'"

"She did that to me last spring when my Aunt Gail got married," he replied. "I hate that."

"Do it back to her at a funeral and she'll leave you alone," I replied.

"Think so?" he asked. 

"Yeah. I did it to my grandmother and she left me alone after that," I answered. "Works like a charm."

He started across the street and I folded my arms and watched with deep satisfaction as the monster I had just created headed home.

Some time in the future I will get a visit from his father who will not know whether to beat me senseless or buy me a bottle of Jim Beam.

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