Thursday, December 3, 2015

Change in policy.

I read where some mother let her kid get about 35 or 40 yards away from her and some nebby do-good called the cops and now the mother is facing child neglect charges.

The person that called the police ought to be beaten senseless if you ask me.

It was ridiculous and just another case of the way things are headed.

I have been leery about leaving my niece's kids in the car and going anywhere and have not done this. I almost once ran into a place to pay for gas with an eye on them but decided against it. I dragged them in with me. Truth is I don't even like to get gas with them in the car...even paying at the pump.

All that is about to change.

In the future I'll simply stuff the kids in the trunk where nobody can see them. If nobody sees them then they are not only safe from kidnappers, but I am safe from nosy do-gooders reporting me for child neglect.

Now I can even stop off at Clancy's for a couple and not have to worry about them.

Actually this gave me an idea that will make people's heads explode. 

If I am not mistaken my niece has a car that has one of those back seats whereby half of it folds foreward. This enables long packages to be carried half in the trunk and half in the rear seat passenger's compartment.

The hole created by the rear seat going foreward is certainly large enough for a small child to crawl through.

You put the kids in the trunk and close it and they squirm into the passenger's compartment where they stay low and discreetly push the seat back up.

Anyone not standing next to the car would swear that he has just seen some gnarly old man lock a couple of kids into the trunk.

Add to this by having my niece scrunched down out of sight in the front seat and I walk off with the illusion of leaving the kids in the trunk and with my niece's hubby hidden manning a camera and that sounds like a fast $10K from America's Funnist Home Videos.

"Ossifer! He stuffed two beautiful small children into the trunk and went shopping. When I asked him about it he said he always hides them there to keep from getting in trouble for child neglect!"

Of course when the officer finds the kids in the back seat with their mother in the front seat he's going to have a hard time keeping a straight face when the girls smile at him.

"Uncle Piccolo lets us get into the car through the trunk!" says the first grand niece.

"He's always finding fun things for us to do," adds the other.

There ain't a cop out thre that wouldn't grin broadly hearing something like that.

Then again, where is Allen Funt now that we need him?

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

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