I was running an errand and before I left one of the neighbors saw me and we briefly chatted. He asked me to snag him a 6-pack while I was getting gas. I agreed. He's almost my age so there was no problem with the age requirements for beer.
Since Covid we often offer to pick stuff up along the way for each other to save each other from possible exposure.
So I am at the convenience store, gassed up and I wander into the store properly masked. I headed to the beer cave, grabbed his six-pack and was heading to the register. I was about halfway there when Karen burst in in a huff and announced to the clerks that there was a teenager in the parking lot looking for an adult to buy him beer.
Her voice was one of uppity self-righteousness and virtue signaling. If you remember 'Leave it to Beaver' she sounded just like Judy Hensler ratting the Beav out to Miss Landers for smoking in the boy's room.There was no way in I could let that one slide. No way in Hell.
Target of opportunity! It would be morally wrong to let this one slide.
"I got him covered," I said, holding up the six-pack.
Some people snickered, one laughed outright and Karen exploded and went off like a skyrocket prattling on and on about how she was going to call the police on me for buying liquor for minors.
"Hey," I protested. "He's a good kid. He offered me a couple lines of cocaine for my trouble." I turned to some guy in his late teens or early twenties. "Hey, Kid! You need cigarettes?"
"No, I'm good," replied the kid. "Thank you. That's very considerate of you." I figured he was a nonsmoker before I had asked. From the grin he had on his face it was obvious he knew what was going on.
Karen turned purple and a couple of people laughed outright. Karen looked at them and practically shouted "That's not funny!"
A guy nearby looked at me chuckling and commented, "That's how I used to get my beer when I was underaged."
"Me, too," I replied.
More laughter. Karen's blood vessels looked ready to burst.
I paid for the beer and wandered back toward my pickup, looking around and spotted a teenaged boy. "If you're the guy trying to get someone to buy beer for you you ought to hit the bricks. Karen is in there calling the cops on you."
The kid took off like a striped-ass gazelle.
One of the joys of old age is the filters have come off. You no longer worry about approval from a bunch of self-appointed imbeciles that you don't know.
It's OK to pet someone's dog and tell the owner that the dog is welcome but the owner isn't.
When a friend introduces you to someone and says, "This is my friend Piccolo. He doesn't GAF so you're on your own with him." you know you have made it to the top.
Love it !
ReplyDeletePiccolo puttin' in work!
ReplyDeleteBravissimo!
ReplyDeleteNice.
ReplyDelete