I just read where a woman got arrested for bestiality.

Of course I think it's pretty nasty but the more I think about it if the dog and the woman are happy then it's really nobody's business.

In fact if they want to get married that's just fine by me.

If it neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg...

The older I get the less I really care about stupid stuff although I suppose things like that should be regulated to behind closed doors.

While it doesn't break my leg it both injures me and costs me money. It hurts my eyes and eye bleach ain't cheap.

We got bigger things to worry about than someone screwing the pooch in Alabama.

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You don't like kids, do you?

I was once asked.

I DO like kids. The only problem with them is I can't eat one of them all by myself.

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This goes in the FWIW department

Police employment applications are down 63% according to what I read and that isn't a good thing.

Needless to say, they will wind up lowering the standards to fill the slots.

This will lead to more police incompetence which will lead to fewer qualified applicants and the Graveyard Spiral as the number of good policemen drops.

This will eventually lead to departments that should be defunded as they will be full of little more than thugs and brown shirts.

I've seen a couple of departments be replaced and/or disappear over they years and the results generally ain't pretty. 

On the other hand, there will likely be a huge pile of applications to wealthier neighborhoods as police exodus leaves city departments. The rich always seem to get richer in more way than one.

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Oh, good. They changed the pancake mix box. Maybe we'll have world peace now.

I'm well behind enemy lines as I write this. I am in San Francisco and just muttered that statement aloud while grocery shopping. Sometimes I gotta stop muttering things like Popeye used to.

I heard a snarf behind me and turned to see an old black man that was clearly amused. 

He looked at me and I said to him "The Aunt Jemima they replaced looked like a college idiot that couldn't cook worth a $hit. She'd try and tell a campful of loggers that all they needed was a teaspoon of tofu mixed with a teaspoon of granola and a pancake the size of a half-dollar to go to work on." 

"You're right," he said. "She looked like a college educated woman. She looked like she probably couldn't cook very well, at least not for lumberjacks."

"Now the one before her looked like she knew her stuff!" I said. "She could COOK! About four of five huge flapjacks and no maple syrup. She'd likely use sausage in gravy to smother them with and top that off with a half pound of bacon and three or four fried eggs!"

"That sounds pretty good," he said. "I wonder what she'd make for lunch?"

"Forget it," I shot back. "We're both too old and fat to be eating like that anymore." We both laughed. 

I got lucky there. It was an old man that overheard me. Us old guys tend to stick together. We've got a lot more in common with each other than we do with a lot of the bickering young people.Had I been overheard by some youngster with a chip on their shoulder it might have been different. 

I probably have far more in common with an old black man than I do with almost all younger whites.

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On a recent flight home from San Francisco I wandered into the attendent's station after using the head and asked for a bottle of water.

Several minutes before a rather busty woman had wandered back to use the head and she had the word "Guess" stenciled on her skin tight T-shirt right across her boobs.

When I saw the attendant I said she ought to give me a bottle of water for behaving myself and keeping my mouth shut.

She asked me why.

"Did you see that woman with the skin tight T-shirt that said "Guess?" written across her boobs?" I asked.

"Yes, why?" she asked.

"I was going to guess they're implants but decided to keep my mouth shut."

She blushed a bit but broke out laughing and asked me what I drink. I told her Irish, scotch or bourbon. 

She opened a locker, fished around a few seconds and schlpped me a little bottle of Dewars.

As she handed it to me she told me to behave myself.

 

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Audie Murphy...A Texan beats himself to the draw.

In Murphy's postwar book, To Hell andBack, he wrote about kicking a door open, seeing a horrible looking creature in front of it and gunning it down only to find he had shot at his own reflection in a mirror.

Needless to say I'm sure he took a good natured drubbing from his buddies. 

Nobody ever held it against him because they knew that their turn to do something like that was probably around the corner. Wars are fought by scared young men.

So are wars on the street.

Just something to think about. 

In case you do not know who Audie Murphy was you can Google him and read his service record. You might learn something. He gets filed under 'B' for Badass.

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So you want to defund the police, huh?

"So who is going to protect you from people like me?"

Crickets.

The  other one I liked is the time I heard some hippie say that they'd just go and visit a survivalist if they ran out of food during an emergency.

"What if I won't give you any food?" asked the survivalist.

"Oh, well we'll just take it."

"What if I won't let you take it?" asked the survivalist. 

"You can't stop us," said the hippie.

"What if I simply shoot you in the face? I suppose if I did that you would not only not need any food but I could probably butcher you could become food," replied the survivalist.

Deer in the headlights look.

There are too damned many people on this earth that appeaar to have no true sense of reality. The do not understand how things work.

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One of the things that most people forget about growing up is that

Their parents were growing up WITH them.

When you have several different siblings spread out over more than  decade when it's all over and done with you will have that many perspectives regarding their relationship with their parents.

I remember growing up Catholic and if I said I was taking a girl to a dogfight in Greenbush Mom would get concerned and ask me if she was a good Catholic girl.

I'd likely answer, "Ma, I'm going to tie a pork chop around her neck so Jimmy's Rhodesian ridgeback will charge her! You want me to waste a good Catholic girl on that?"

Yet by the time my sister was of age if she went out with an Estemenian nobody gave it a second thought if he seemed to be a decent guy. 

He could be a three-toed Estemenian for that matter. All he had to do to score points was to wear regular shoes instead of flip flops.

Looking back on it,  the time I did tell my mother I was taking  girl to a dogfight in Greenbush, my father smirked and said that he had three bucks on the dog.

Still, it's funny how the relationship between parent and children is looked at later on in life.

It's because our parents were actually growing up alongside us.

 

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In case anyone is interested.

Here's Chauvin's contact info.

Derek Michael Chauvin
Inmate #261557
Minnesota Correctional Facility - Oak Park Heights
5329 Osgood Avenue North
Stillwater, MN 55082

Someone passed it on to me and I'm passing it on here.

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Does anyone really read this?

Over the years I have wondered if people read the various reports, tax documents and so on that we are required to send in by governments, employers or whatever.

Do the tax people really read every deduction or what is filled into every little space?

Over the years on unused spaces on tax forms where there is an unused blank space in the middle of things I sometimes write "Do you really read all of this?"

No governmental agency has answered me yet and I hve done this on and off for decades.

I have to admit that one time I was writing out a report at work and in the middle of a paragraph I put in the sentence, "I bet nobody really reads these reports." where looking at it it didn't stand out.

Much to the credit of the boss, I got a brief email from a department head.

"Yes, I do read these reports. We actually pay attention to what you guys have to say."

"Just checking," I replied. Then I added, "Because you really are interested I'll take a little more time on them."

I was actually surprised but when I thought about it, it made sense. Private industry pays a lot more attention to things than government does. 

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Protip. The refrigerator has another goood use.

When you have a fire alarm that goes off when you are burning beef or starts chirping because of a low battery the best place to put it is in the refrigerator.

I don't have a land line anymore but when I did I always made sure the cord was long enough to put the phone in the fridge. 

I suppose I could have simply unplugged it but it was more satisfying to know it was still ringing off the hook.

I can remember a couple of times when I did that and said, "Ring, you bastard, RING."

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One of the things a lot of people do not understand about the Covid vaccine is

not approved yet and is still in the experimental stage.

It is allowed to be used under an emergency authorization act. 

A part of the authorization holds the vaccine companies free from all civil liability for any reactions or ill effects of the vaccine on people.

In short, you are taking it at your own risk.

I am informed and will likely be taking the vaccine in the next few days.

Update. I got it 

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I just made contact with my oldest friend's son

I held him as an infant and the ususal things someone does with his friend's kid. From afar I watched him grow up.

I remember the first time I dealt with him as an adult. I was in town and decided to drop in on his father with a small keg of beer. The father wasn't in town but the son was. He was a young man now.

I wound up dropping anchor with him and the two of us drank the beer together. He was no longer my friend's son anymore. He had become my friend, too. We talked long into the night as adults.

Good hearing from him. We've both had interesting experiences and there are a few things I won't share but somewhere...in the strangest of spots he learned one of life's lessons, the lesson of integrity.

888888888888888888888888888888

In other gnus, there are now grounds to call the Derek Chauvin case a mistrial thanks to Maxine Waters running her mouth with threats if Chauvin isn't found guilty.

If I were the judge I would make her own it by stating that "because of the comments and threats made by Maxine Waters and other elected officials the jury has been tainted and is no longer able to give the defendant a fair trial. I am declaring a mistrial".

Charles Manson almost got his trial tossed when then president Richard Nixon ran his mouth. Fortunately for him he caught himself and corrected things.

 

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We are the Irish...and open letter to the Facebook people.

You sent me a letter telling me I don't play well with others because someone said God looks out for drunks, fools and Irishmen.

I got a nastygram because I had the downright gall to point out that God looks out doubly for drunken Irishmen. Actually he does. You can take that to the so-called fact checkers all you want but you will not convince another Irisher otherwise. Come to think about it, you probabaly won't convince too many other people, either but I digress.

Anyway, while many of other backgrounds will say things about people of different backgrounds and generate hurt feelings reports the Irish are different. 

For one thing we seldom poke fun or insult others because we are generally too busy poking fun and insulting each other. It is very possible that the thinnest book in the library is a book consisting of all of the hurt feelings reports generated by the Irish caused by internal Irish bickering.

We are a thick skinned lot and not a pack of whiny snowflakes. We fight like Kill Kaney Cats among ourselves and relish in the uproar we create by doing so. We are likely the most self-effacing people on the planet and truly embrace the suck both individually and as a people. Our humor is sometimes very dry.

We also never forget either a kindness nor a slight and repay both as appropriate.

When someone says we drink too much we argue vehemently with them and deny it while at the same time we pour ourselves a drink.

We are what we are and we certainly don't need the social media censors to come charging in and ruin everything for us. Now please leave us along. We can take care of ourselves.

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I was

laughing my ass off watching the Little Rascals. The kid wants to be a street car conductor when he grows up and his mother is aghast and wants him to be President of the United States.

BTDT.

Four more kids later my mother was probably just very grateful none of us were in prison.

Lately I have done some thinking about my childhood.

I have come to the conclusion that not only do the kids grow up but so do the parents.

This also explains another thing to me. Sometimes the kids grow up faster than their parents as displayed the other day. I asked a kid how old he was and he said "I'm eight."

I looked at him and with a straight face said, "When I was your age I was twelve." His eyes lit up and I knew he understood he was being bullshitted by and old man.

The mother looked at me confused and asked, "How could that possibly be?"

A couple of months ago called an older man, "Young man" and he shot back he was older than me. I asked him how old he was and he said he was eighty six.

I looked at him and snapped back and said, "You ought to be ashamed of yourself! When I was your age I was ninety two!"

I thought he would wet his pants laughing.

Just shows to go you that middle age is a mess. That's where people take life too seriously.

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Daunte Wright shooting.

From what I have seen the police own that one.

The shooter reached for the wrong gun. She apparently wanted her taser and grabbed her service pistol in error and shot Wright.

I'm not going to blame poor training or anything else.  The officer shot Wright unintentionally. 

As far as I can see, the police have stepped up to the plate and have accepted ownership of the shooting. That's what they are supposed to do. An officer screwed up and from what I have seen she has admitted fault. It appears by all counts to be a case of some kind of negligent homicide and the officer will likely pay for it.

Not assigning blame, I will say that had Wright obeyed the police to the letter he would still be alive.

That does not let the officer off the hook in any way, though. It's just a word to the wise.

What is interesting that the fastest way to make something go away is to admit to it and get it behind you. It kind of disappoints the media because they don't get to go after any kind of cover-up and really turn it into a circus.

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A lot of people do not understand that beef and venison

are made entirely out of plants.

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Wanna see some real hate?

If you are walking down the street and see someone out gardening or just sitting around in a house with a BLM or hate has no home here strike up a conversation and during it simply utter the words "Donald Trump''. 

That's all you have to do.

You will most likely run into someone that is so blinded with hate you will be astonished at how much hate a single person can hold.

Tell a person with a BLM sign that all lives matter and you will likely get the same reaction.

Actually all lives really DON'T matter. 

If you get shot robbing, raping or looting it is because you don't think your life matters and if you don't think your life matters, why should I?

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Chili.

I'm making chili and the instant you start to talk about chili there is an immediate ballyhoo about various ingredients, spices and add-tos.

Chili con carne translates to Chilies and meat. Chilies are a pepper.

The basic recipe is meat and peppers. Anything else is superflous.

One other thing is that it is not a gourmet meal but historically a slap up trail meal. I call it saddle tramp cooking. There is no need for fancy French knives, chopping, mincing or pureeing of ingredients. 

You also don't want to use choice beef, either. Basic stew beef is ideal. I have seem people ruin the whole mess by grinding up expensive steaks.

The three basic tools I use are a hunting knife, an old wood spoon and a skillet. It's a dead simple deal.

My basic 'recipe is to hack up an onion and some peppers, cut up about 1.5 pounds of cheap stew beef to pieces about a third of the size of your little toe and start cooking it. Spice to taste and often I will toss in a small can of tomatoes and a small can of beans, simmer it a while and call it good.

Now, what you CAN do is put it in individual servings and either refrigerate or freeze it. It's always much better after sitting in the frezer or refrigerator a while.

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One of the important things about science is getting valid data to come to valid conclusions.

When one enters false values one gets false conclusions.

I have come to the conclusion that both sides feed in false data to come to false conclusions. When people do that it produces junk science.

Finding truth is getting to be a full-time job.

On top of that, I have to make a living.

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Lives matter.

The minute you put any color whatsoever in front of those two words you immediately become a racist.

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I was checking out this pretty good midget porn website...

I can't seem to get that one out of my head for some reason. 

The other day some guy was walking out of Walmart and took off his mask and Karen asked him where his mask was.

"In my pocket," he said. "I've seen you before." The second sentence was bait and Karen took it.

"Where have you seen me before?" she demanded.

"I was checking out this pretty good midget porn website," he began. That caught my attention! Clearly I was in the presence of a Jedi Master troll! Midget porn? Is there such a thing? "You were in a Snow White costume rolling around with the seven dwarfs...three of them were hunchbacks ..." he continued.

Of course Karen turned a shade of magenta I have only seen once before. The last time was when my mother found out I got suspended for hooking school. She let out a terrible screech. "You did not see me on a pornographic website!"

Everyone started looking at her as the God of trollers walked off with a triumphant grin.

I posted earlier that I Googled 'midget porn' when I got home and it's out there. I didn't bother checking it out because it's pretty self-explanatory. 

Still, I am quite fascinated by a mind that could pull such an off the wall line like that out of thin air.

I'd like to go drinking with the guy.

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I see where United Airlines no longer cares about customer safety.

Apparently racial politics are more important.

The just announced a goal of making the flight deck 50% minority.

Over the years I have never thought twice about the aircrews that have flown me places. I couldn't care less about the race or sex of them. I simply knew they were competent aviators.

On my last flight I was last off because I wanted to talk to the pilot, a woman. She seemed to be a competent aviator and that's all that mattered. She answered my questions and I went about my business with no second thought.

I've been around aviators for decades and know that as a group there is very little if any racial animosity. Pilots judge other pilots by their competence as aviators.

United is likely going to force the issue and that means most likely minorities will be held to a different (lower) standard to achieve the desired results of a 50% minority flight deck.

As usual, who pays for this?

For one, the passenger. They will be constantly wondering if the aircrews are diversity hires. They will (rightfully so to some extent) be worried obout their safety.

The people that generally pay a dear price for policies like this are the successful minorities that have busted their asses to become competent in their field and will now find their competence being questioned. People will wonder if they are diversity hires.

All I can say is that they ought to go back to the hiring practice of hiring based strictly on competence without regard to race or other minority status. Nothing else matters. 

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Every now and then something sticks in one's head.

.The other day at Walmart I heard someone ask a mask police Karen if she was the one playing Snow White on a midget porn website.

If course much hilarity ensued but I wondered it there really is such a thing as midget porn so I Googled it.

Actually I wan't surprised to find out that there is such a thing. 

  

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Piccolo's got green spots on him! What do we do?

As the oldest son my parents would run me straight to the emergency room.

My younger brother would be taken to the doctor's office when he got them.

Next would be my sister. Mom would call the doctor and get told to get a bottle of green spot remover at the drugstore.

The middle sister would get them and her older sister would apply the green spot remover and mantion it to Mom.

The baby sister would see the green spots in the mirror, open the medecine cabinet and apply the remover to herself and casually mention she had finished the last of it.

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There are times when you just know someone has become an American.

The one that comes to mind for me was a smart-assed cab driver. When I got into his cab he was pretty much all business but I ended up being a smart ass myself and his answer told me the guy belonged here.

"Where ya from?" I asked him.

"Morocco," he replied.

"What part?" I asked.

"Casablanca," he replied.

"Casablanca, huh? Is Rick's place still there?" It was a direct referral to the classic movie of the same name as his hometown.

"No. He closed it in 1942 and had to skip town with Sam and a French police officer. They would up in Algeria and the three of them opened up another bar and did OK." he said. "Then Rick got work that Elsa and Laslo had a falling out when a woman showed up at their door with a baby demaning that Laslo pay child support. Rick hired an old friend named Sam Spade to track Elsa down and  had her flown to Algeria where they got married." he said.

"Rick sold out to his partners and he and Elsa moved to Chicago and had a bunch of kids and lived happily ever after." he concluded.

I know he just pulled that story out of his ass then and there by the way he told it. It was such a classic line of total BS that it could have ONLY come from an American.

As far as I'm concerned that guy passed his citizenship test with an A.

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I am getting leerier and leerier of buying things on eBay from California.

I just snagged a sleep noise generator off of eBay which is fine and dandy. When I paid for it I found I had paid directly to China which I had not bargained for.

Still, the item itself is supposedly in the States so it should arrive as scheduled in a few days.

I'm starting to get more and more suspicious about buying on line these days.

A while ago I bought a heavy winter jacket that promised fast shipping. The fast shipping came AFTER it spent several days waiting to be shipped and then weeks on a slow boat from China. Finally it got to the States and I had it a couple of days later.

What irked the daylights out of me is that the seller advertised a Stateside address and it sounded like a store.

After things dragged on I looked up the so-called store when I got dialed in I figured out it was basically little more than a space with a phone. I saw nothing that remotely looked like a store.

Kind of shady looking to me.

Then the coat arrived and it was not as described. Instead of sheepskin it was vinyl and a man made lining. A piece of junk and clearly not as it had been described.

I'm filing with PayPal over this one.

Of course Amazon is reasonably trustworthy. When they say something will arrive on a certain time it is rare when it doesn't and even then they are generally not late by very much.

eBay is another pretty good one. Nobody wants bad feedback and sellers are required to post where the item being sold is physically located. They also give an estimated delivery date. Things are rarely late.

From now on before I buy anything on line I am going to do a little more digging before I make a purchase.

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I met someone with a viable alternative to vaccination

I'm going to have to look into this.

Ivermectrin. Google it.

Just one more thing to look into.

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Returned from the bank where I paid a bill. I got back 17 cents in change.

I looked at the dime, nickel and two cents and said. "Wow! Seventeen cents! Shoot! A fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all of that money! That's gotta be at least three hookers and an 8-ball worth of blow!"

Both bank tellers, both women, were laughing themselves silly.

Enter Karen behind me who just HAD to barge in announce "That's not funny!"

"Words spoken by a woman that's not worth one of my seventeen cents," I replied. "Why? Ya looking to make a little change?"

The two tellers totally lost it. I pocketed my 17 cents and left.

When the woman got to the teller I had just left she asked her, "Did that man just insinuate I was a prostitute?"

They both lost it again.

The older I get the more ridiculous day to day life seems.

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I'm not a pro OR anti vaxxer by any stretch.

Still, I don't like idiots very much.

I know the vaccine is experimental but it seems to be accepted by the public.

Anyway, some clown was babbling about how the vaccine came out in only 9 months and because it was created so fast it should be avoided.

What he said was immateriel. It was how he said it.

My answer was, "So? You were made in 9 months and we let you out in public. Besides, the vaccine was created in a scientific laboratory. Most likely you were created on the ladies room floor of a strip joint." 

Truth is, with COvid going around there are many ways of dealing with it. 

It's up to the inividual to do their own research, come to their own conclusions and take the action based on it.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

Hey, Boys and girls

It's 3:51 in the morning.

Do you know where your parents are?

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Up prepping for a colonoscopy.

Yuck.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

The rest of the story. I have a 65 yo friend that got married for the first time recently to a high school graduate..

Of course every woman I have told this to has gone off like a skyrocket. The carrying on and screeching have been epic and all sorts of very stupid things have been said about this. 

Now let's look at the REST of the story.

Yes. He did get married for the first time at about age 65. (God bless him)

Yes. His wife DID graduate from high school. She graduated from high school in about 1971 and went on to college. She had married before, raised a family and was widowed some years back

And that's  how spin doctors work.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY