The Onion posted an article saying that 87% of all Americans support helping send Congress to Syria.
Here I am helping Senator Casey out in the assembly area.
Good, Senator, you got your 'chute on OK, but ditch the reserve. You're jumping from 800 feet and if you main doesn't blossom, you'll never get the reserve out in time so you won't need that. Let's see. You can take that rifle out of the case and stuff it in your harness so you can get it when you hit the ground and stuff a mag in it so you don't have to screw with that when you hit the ground. Don't worry, it only hold five shot because you said nobody need more than that.
Tighten up that chin strap so you don't lose your helmet the the chute opens and here's a shroud cutter in case you land on top of a building or a tree. Stuff that in your top pocket so you can get to it if you need it.
Glad to see you guys from Congress leading from the front, Senator. Make Pennsylvania proud of us.please and don't wet your pants in front of Nancy Pelosi. She's sitting across from you.
Jump time is 0100 and you'll be going out the door into pitch blackness packing 125 pounds of gear. They picked a no moon night for you so won't be seen in the air.
Glad to see you guys in Congress are leading from the front and setting a good example for us.
Senator Feinstein? No. We didn't give her one. She doesn't believe in guns so we gave her a pointed stick.
What? Yeah? So?
Well, maybe next time you won't he in such as much of a hurry to get someone else's kids torn up.
Stay safe, Senator.
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