Monday, May 23, 2016

My nephew is boiling water.


His wife just went into labor so the woman folk are keeping him in the kitchen boiling water. Women folk do this with the old man to keep him out of the way so he's not a PITA. That way the woman folk can deliver the baby without distraction.

At least that is what happens in old westerns. The old man boils water while the womanfolk deliver the baby.

These days most fathers accompany the wife to the delivery room, actually.

I just got word that the nephew's wife is in labor at the hospital but will likely give birth in several hours. So I gave the nephew a quick call.

"Boiling water?" I asked.

"Yup," he replied. He picked up instantly on what I had asked. He'd heard it mentioned before. It's an old family tale of my father in an expectant father's waiting room. My father actually brought a hot plate and a big pot and boiled water while he waited to hear that my baby sister had arrived into this world.

"Don't tell me, let me guess," I said. "You're in an expectant father's waiting room full of thick cigarette smoke pacing back and forth."

Back in the day this is the way it was. Expectant fathers paced around waiting nervously running up to the desk every two minutes to bug the nurse for news of the delivery. All the while they wuld be chain smoking cigrettes. The waiting room was generally so smokey it put a pool hall to shame. 

He laughed. "Actually no," he replied. "I'm in her room in a chair that converts to a sleeper. I'm working on a project until the time comes."

Anyway, as I write this it looks like I am going to be a grand uncle again to a little girl. 

This is an amazing age we live in. As I type this my cell phone went off and I have a text.

I am now a grand uncle to a 5 pound 2 ounce baby girl!

I told my shipmate and he simply said, "Come back when you're a great grandfather! Great uncle! Sheesh! That's like telling me you know someone that just had a baby!"

SOMEONE had to rain on my parade.

Better him than some jerk. He's a damned good shipmate.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

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