As a general rule of thumb they can easily be identified by the fact that they do NOT wear one of those hokey vests that you can buy for $8 on eBay.
Those vests more often than not serve to identify a totally untrained fleabag that generally has no business being anywhere but the owner's home and has no business whatsoever being inflicted on the general public.
True service dogs seldom wear vests.
If you can't fly in an airplane without your untrained nasty little lapdog then just either drive or stay home.
As I am writing this there is a pretty good circus on Nextdoor over someone being denied entrance at a restaurant because of their dog.
If the restaurant denied entrance to a person with a legitimate, trained service dog they are plain wrong. On the other hand if they denied entrance to some untrained fleabag in an $8 eBay vest, then God bless them.
I've had to deal with one on a packed flight just before Covid. I was stuck next to this very priviliged fat, bleached blond slathered in eye watering cheap perfume that she got somewhere after a third world desert whore threw it away while she was carrying her precious fake vest clad lapdog on her lap.
It would have been somewhat tolerable except for the fact that the hyperactive little yapper kept licking my ear as I tried to doze of and kept yapping. I took it for a while and said something to the woman.
She promptly complained to the attendant who I had noticed had watching me occasionally. The attendant then heard me explain that I didn't like someone's fleabag slobbering all over me while I was trying to nap. She politely asked me to come with her and I did.
We went aft to the attendant station and she told me that unfortunately she had no spare seat to put me and said she completely understood how I felt about the dog. She said the woman had some sort of paperwork.
"Yeah? What? The little card they give you with that stupid vest? Emotional support dog my ass. I KNOW about legitimate emotional support animals and they're trained."
"I know," she said, sadly.
I told her I had no problem with the dog. I was angry at the owner for not having trained the animal and told her the little fleabag should be shipped off to a training facility of some sort. As for the owner? She should be thrown off of the airplane.
The attendant chuckled and said it was impossible to do at 38,000 feet.
"We can all put on our oxygen masks for a few minutes while the pilot slow flies the plane and we give her the old heave-ho," I shot back. The attendant laughed outright at that. I also commented on the woman's perfume. The attendant simply agreed it was a bit much.
"The desert whores in Morocco love that stuff because they never bathe," I replied.
"Sometimes I wish we could throw them off," she replied. I got the pro forma thanks for your patience and returned to my seat.
Ten minutes later the dog crapped in the aisle. Needless to say, the attendant cleaned it up with a poor poker face. She was clearly livid.
The woman in the seat across the aisle said something to the dogowner and as to be expected, the owner tried to defend herself. She said it was an emotional support animal.
I told her that if she needed that undiciplined fleabag for emotional support to get on an airplane and fly then she should have driven or walked to Seattle.
She started to say something and I told her "Don't get indignant with me. I already have a felony on my record and any more I get don't count! They can't take away your rights twice!"
That shut her up and I noticed the woman across the aisle smirk. She asked me what crime I had committed. She was pretty sharp and quick on the uptake.
"Right now I'm out on parole for murdering a woman that brought a fake service dog on an airplane, I answered. She laughed. The dog owner turned purple.
I tried to curl up and nap but the hyperactive little fleabag started licking my ear. Much to her credit the attendant was there and laid the law down. She told the woman that on further flights her dog would be restricted to the cargo deck and she had better buy a kennel of some sort for her return flight.
I butted in and told the attendant to get me something to write on because when she (the attendant) was called on to defend herself she could tell them to call me I wanted to give her my name and phone. She said it was OK. She had an understanding boss. Still, the offer was good because we just knew that woman was going to complain.
"They can't do that," she protested.
Hold my beer. They CAN. The ADA clearly specifies that if a service animal does not behave themselves the animal may be evicted. It is the owner's responsibility to insure the animal behaves itself. Surprise!
When we were on final approach I told the woman that when she entered the aisle she had best take a step back and let me go before her or I'd run over her. I wanted off that plane in the worst way. She gave me a harumph but got surprised instead.
When we stopped I hopped up on my seat and jumped over her, grabbed my bag and started down the aisle. Not bad for an old man! I wasn't going to give her a chance to get in front of me because it would have looked like Sergeant Carter and Gomer Pyle. I would heve followed her kicking and screaming at her.
As I got to the door both attendants stopped me for a second and thanked me for my patience. This was actually somewhat soothing because I always wonder if maybe I'm not the person that's out of line. I admit I have been before.
I'll cheerfully fly that airline again. Their hands are tied. Still, I'm afraid of what I will do if I get stuck next to someone like that again. My first instinct will probably be to strangle the dog's owner.
Update. The point is now moot with Delta. They no longer recognize emotional support animals as being legitimate service animals according to what I just read. It also must be a dog.
As usual, who gets screwed? Some poor ex-GI with PTSD.
Actually my GUESS is that in that case they might allow some veteran or legitimate PTSD victim to bring his animal on board if he keeps his mouth shut.
As usual the snowflakes have ruined it for everyone else.
So much for Plan One. I was going to try and slap a vest on a rhinoceros and sneak it aboard as an emotional support animal.
Still, I bet I can get on board with a Seeing Eye Cat. Too bad Tokie isn't around anymore.
Loved it! Quite funny! sr
ReplyDeleteBack to your days on arf. Thanks
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