OK. You have 45 minutes to make your connection. Time begins when you hit the tarmac but for sake f argument let's say it begins when they open the door and the herd starts moving.
First Class bails out. They're gone and the next thing is the pissants behind them start moving.
Enter Three Ton Tessie with her walker and oxygen bottle sitting in the row directly behind First Class. She insists on getting off in turn and then the attendants have to assemble her walker, hook up her oxygen bottle, figure out how to get her carry-on off the plane with her and get her at least onto the jetway so the rest of the Thundering Herd can at least get around her. Figure about 30 minutes lost when you add in the few minutes it took the First Class people to bail. That's if you're fortunate enough to have flight attendants that horse her out with a Come-Along.
That leaves about fifteen minutes but you have been stuck in the back third of the plane because those tickets are cheaper and that's what corporate travel people buy for their people.
Add another fifteen minutes to the process as a lot of the Thundering Herd have no idea how to move. Karens are the worst offenders.
They sit there until the seat in front of them are halfway up the aisle, get up and take their sweet time getting their bags out of the overhead. They have no consideration for the Thundering Herd behind them and dawdle their way up the aisle.
If I'm directly behind them I roar on past them because I'm already on my feet and have my bag in hand.
A couple of times I have had a Karen or a Ken comment and I've shot back with, "I'll bet your the kind of inconsiderate jerk that waits until you are at the head of the Starbucks line to play 20 questions with the clerk and then take all afternoon to make up your mind!" Then I'm gone.
Usually they manage to get up and block the aisle before I can blow past them. It generally takes about a minimum of 20 to 30 minutes to empty a plane and woe be unto you if you're sitting in the way back.
With a 45 minute connection time you're lucky to hit the gate with about 15 minutes or so to get your bearings, locate your gate and run like holy hell to make your conection. More than once I have been the last one on the plane and had the door hit me in the ass as I get on board. This often draws angry looks from the other passengers.
Needless to say, the gate you are trying to get to is in Outer Mongolia somewhere and it's the day the trains and moving walkways are down for repair.
More than once I have missed a connection over a 10 or 15 minute delay in takeoff. With a short connection time it doesn't take much. I've had this happen, too.
I am getting too old and tired to go running all over hell chasing a connection and these days I make it easier for myself. I simply make sure my connection time is ample. Anything shy of an hour is simply too small an amount of time. An hour and a half sounds about right, especially if you don't know the airport and their system.
The way I see it I should be able to get from my arrival gate to my departure gate walking at a reasonable pace and still have enough time to snag a to go cup of coffee on the fly. That's reasonable.
I SHOULD be able to make a connection after a 15 or 20 minute delay in take-off if I move at a quick pace but that seems to be asking a lot these days.
Needless to say, Murphy was an optimist. There is one thing that is a pretty safe bet.
When you have about a three hour or longer connection time you will likely find your departure gate is right next to the one you just de-planed from. A six hour connection time practically guarantees it.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
One other thing about corporate sponsered travel.
Your boarding group is generally determined by how much the company paid for the ticket. Generally corporate travelers get stuck in category 8, the last people to board.
This means you are going to be boarding with the usual motley collection of beggars, thieves, hunchbacks, dwarfs, cripples and lepers straight out of a Monty Python movie.
One time I commented about this to someone and an entire high school sports team was in category 8 and it went through them like faster than a group of spoiled Karens could spread a dirty rumor. They hatched a plan.
I was lucky enough to be near the end of the line so I could watch the kids act up. Some of them hunched over and walked like cripples, others hobbled along but the most entertaining ones were the kids that acted like beggars and started hassling the First Class people for alms.
"Alms! Alms for he poor! Alms!" Some of the First Class passengers were mildly amused. Some were visibly annoyed and the flight attendants were mortified. If it was tracable back to me I'm sure I'd have been booted off of the flight but nobody pointed my way so I was good to go.
Still, being in the las group to board is a bad deal mainly because all of the luggage spaces for one's carry-on are usually chock-a-block full.
When I am in the last boarding section I generally keep my eyes open for the first available place I can find to stuff my carry-on and cram it in there and write the seat number on my hand with a pen. That's because when you get to your seat all the luggage space is usually gone.
If I write it on my hand I never have to remember it. I will know without looking. If I don't I will surely forget what aisle it was and then I'm kind of screwed.
Sometimes I make an inexpensive upgrade out of my own pocket and that gets me into a better boarding category which is fine by me. It's well worth it.
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