I was traveling a while ago and had to check into a motel that I have used from time to time.
Those new electronic so-called keys suck and the woman behind the counter asked me if I wanted two of them. She knew that they were somewhat unreliable and wanted to give me a spare. I was very considerate of her but there are some openings that create a Pavlovian situation.
"That would be great! I can give one to the hooker I met in the parking lot!" I answered.
She didn't bat an eyelash. "What's she charging? Maybe I can give you a better deal." she replied.
GREAT comeback and it rates as number two over the years.
The all time best was when I asked the woman at the desk of a hotel/restaurant in Kodiak. "Do you have reservations?" I was referring to the restaurant.
"Just beastiality," she replied.
One of the things I like about myself is that by being a World Renowned Smart Ass is that on rare occasions kindred spirits recognize it and shoot back.
It's kind of nice being shot with a ball of your own $hit once in a while.
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