Saturday, November 5, 2011

On buying flowers for someone. Just a lousy bunch of flowers.

How come as soon as a guy decides to buy flowers for someone most women in the general area figure he's in the dog house?

Did it ever occur to them that maybe every once in a while a guy buys flowers for someone just to see their face light up?

I went past the florist section while buying chow and snagged a bunch of carnations for the Mrs. just for the hell of it.

So while going through the register the girl behind it just HAD to ask,
"What did you do?"

"Ah, the wife caught me pimping out the daughter again." I casually replied.

"What!?!?" she said, completely in shock.

"I just needed a little quick beer money," I replied, defensively.

The woman behind me had at least half a brain. She laughed like hell. She simply looked at me when she settled down. "I'll bet you are buying those just to keep things running smooth at home," she said. "I don't know why every woman that sees a man buying flowers thinks he is in trouble of some sort."

"You got it," I replied.


This reminds me of the time some nosy woman asked me if I had any children and I told her I had ten kids.

"One is in a Turkish prison, another is a Hare Krishna, another is a hooker working in Vegas, The oldest is an alligator wrestler in Florida, another one is presently in Beverly Hills working in a home for homeless movie stars. Let's see now, oh yeah. Another one is in rehab right about now for sex addiction, the second son works as a steward for US Air where his sister pilots a 737 and the twins are going to be on Jerry Springer next week fighting over some shiek that lives in Saudi Arabia and owns a bunch of oil wells. They're twins so it's a pretty even match. You ought to tune in and check it out. Might be better than watching a George Foreman fight."

"Really?" she asked.

"Absolutely." I replied.

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