This morning I had to make a call for an appointment to have someone drop by the house to take some sort of a meter reading. They had scheduled the appointment for a time that I would not be there to let them in.
I explained that I was a merchant mariner and that I would be at sea. The woman asked if there was any way I could sneak home.
"I suppose I could jump over the side of the ship, swim 3200 nautical miles to Hawaii and catch a plane." I said, dubiously.
"Oh, that would be nice," she replied.
"Can I speak to your supervisor? You are so polite and I want him to know they have the right person for you job." I asked.
"Oh, that's all right," she replied.
"Please get me your supervisor. Now." There was ice in my voice.
The phone rang and the supervisor answered.
"Your idiot expects me to jump off the side of an underway ship, swim 3200 miles to Hawaii and catch a plane home so I can be there for the annual meter reading," I said. "Apparently she is either too lazy or stupid to reschedule."
"What!?" he said, somewhat dumbfounded.
"I explained to her that I was a merchant mariner and would be at sea at the scheduled meter checking time. She asked me is I could sneak ashore for a while and I told her I'd have to swim to Hawaii and catch a plane and she seemed good with that," I explained.
"Idiot," he said. "Give me your name and address and I'll pull up your file."
I gave him the necessary and he pulled my file up and looked at it.
"When would be the best time for you?" he asked.
"The sooner the better," I answered.
"I was in the Navy for 4 years," he said. "How's about oh-nine hundred tomorrow?"
"That's a done deal," I replied.
"I guess I have to teach the woman about sailors and truckers," he said.
"Yeah. Get a map of the world or a globe and a little toy ship and explain that they make all of the stuff she buys at Wallyworld in china and he has to come over across the ocean. I said. Go 'toot, toot' as you drag the little boat across the map. When she asks where we sleep tell her Tom Bodett leaves the light on for us."
I suppose I ought to get a little truck and map of the US to teach her about truck drivers," he said and laughed.
"Sounds about right," I answered. and we ended there.
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