Sunday, July 17, 2016

Sea story time!

This goes back about 30 years ago when a commercial fisherman friend almost got cheated out of his catch and decided ti wasn't going to happen.

That part is a long story and I won't post it here save to say he almost created a major riot. In the process he got arrested and charged with about everything including kidnapping.

Actually everyone in the criminal justice system were somewhat sympathetic. Back then many policemen had fished commercially at one time or another. The judge had seen fishermen cheated for years.

He was allowed to pleas down to some dopey thing like disorderly conduct and was given 10 days in the local pokey.

Looking back at it, they had to do something so I suppose it was reasonable. They even let him finish the season before he did his time. Many police officers regarded the whole thing as a joke of sorts.

Three or four days into his sentence I had nothing to do so I decided to visit him in jail. I baked a cake for the occasion.

Of course, I put a file in it.

I timed my visit so one of the good guys was in the police station and when he saw me he asked me what I wanted. He had a hard time not laughing. I was dressed in a double breasted pinstripe suit, black shirt, white tie topped with a huge fedora. I had maybe six bucks in this outfit from the local Mission (a local charity) thrift store.

I was also carrying a violin case. In the other hand I was carrying a box with a cake in it.

The officer grinned and rolled his eyes. He took the violin case, opened it and saw what was in it. There was a violin in the case. The cop actually laughed outright.

"I want to visit Lars Carstens," I said. "I baked him a NICE CAKE and I want him to have it." My face made it very obvious that something was up. Of course, the cop picked up the cue.

"Oh, That's quite nice of you," he said. "And should I check this cake for contraband?"

"Not here," I replied. "Check it in front of Lars."

So I was in the prisoner visiting station holding the cake and told Lars I had baked it for him. As soon as I spoke the officer looked at the two of us and pulled out a Buck knife and cut the cake and hit something. Much to the amusement of both him and Lars he pulled out a six inch mill bastard file. Actually he was careful and damaged the cake as little as possible.

The amused cop left and Lars and I sat there talking and planning his upcoming imaginary escape to the amusement of the officer listening in. We were taking trash about how "The Boys" were going to bust him out that night, complete with plans to steal Tommy guns from the local armory. (They hadn't had a Thompson in the armory in probably 15 or 20 years.)

Generally cops are tight lipped but in this case word got out that I had baked Lars a cake with a file in it and like in any small town word got out and spread like wildfire. I had a lot of drinks bought for me. One of them came from one of the policemen. Even many in the department thought it was funny.

Six months later I was getting pushed around by someone a lot bigger them me and Lars quietly got behind the guy and got down on all fours behind him. I gave the guy a shove and he fell over Lars. Lars was up like a cat and told the thug to stay down and to leave me alone in the future.

We both headed back to the bar and Lars looked at the guys and said, "Pic was the only one to visit me in jail and he even brought me a cake with a file in it! Where were the rest of you guys?"

That brought the house down and the thug slithered off and left me alone the whole time he was in town.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

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