Monday, January 16, 2017

Today has been an interesting day for dealing with women.

As I was eating lunch today at the supermarket cafe a world class beauty of a woman came up to my table. The woman was about forty or a day or two short of it and just gorgeous. I remember where we met. About two months ago she asked me about something in the pharmacy.

She had a sick child. I recall giving her my hillbilly antidote for ditching a nasty cold. Oddly enough she paid attention. I won't post it here but it works and it is sort of brutal.

Anyway she told me she didn't use the antidote on her kid but on herself when she contracted whatever it was from her kid.

She wanted to thank me.

Truly beautiful woman are gracious and she certainly was. In addition to the various parts there is something the truly beautiful have and that is graciousness. 

She didn't have to seek me out to thank me but she did.

Grace like that show through. You can't buy it.

Comedian Ron White once said, "I want her boobs, and her butt and her face...on HER." He was pointing to different imaginary women. "They can do that now," He said.

True enough but they can't install grace. It has to come from within.


The other woman I ran into today was a witness to a horror show I threw a couple of days ago.

She approached me and said it was the funniest thing she'd seen in years. She said I reminded her of her oldest son.

The other day I went off on someone. They had it coming.

Since the testy part of smoking cessation has started I decided to focus the bad energy on people that deserve it. The salesman lied to me and I retaliated. He told me all he needed was my name, street address and landline. I gave them to him and he instantly asked for my email address. I had seen that coming and was ready for it. 

I told him I didn't have an email address.

He looked at my phone. "But you have a smart phone," he protested.

"Yeah, but I don't use it for email," I said. "I use it for porn!"

I saw that he was caught off guard so I decided to go in for the knockout. "Check this out," I said. "There's this guy. He's wearing an Indian chief thing like the Village People guy and he has a feather duster sticking out of his butt. He's got this naked woman--she looks about ninety years old but not too bad. Anyway he's got her all chained up and he bends her over and sticks her head into a gas oven...Here! it's a YouTube video! Check it out!"

I started fiddling with my phone like I really was looking for  YouTube video.

He went into a panic, cleared my information off his computer and told me to leave.

The woman that had seen the whole thing I had noticed out of the corner of my eye. Her face had gone from shocked to appalled to confused to very, very amused in under two seconds. She had instantly picked up what I was doing to the salesman and had a terrible time keeping a straight face.

To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this: NO ANIMALS woman WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY

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