This one for Mrs. Pic.
She has a tablet and a flip phone and likes it that way. She doesn't want a smartphone.
I ordered her a flip phone off the web and for some reason the company sent the wrong package. Instead of a phone I got a phone case. I called the seller instantly.
The woman at the other end of the phone tried to make it good. The problem is we needed it yesterday and there was no way she could have it shipped and arrive on time.
She said that she could get a smart phone of some sort delivered on time. I knew where this was going so I nipped it in the bud.
"My wife ins't very tech savvy," I said. "She grew up in a mud hut in the New Guinea jungle. I'm a sailor and I met her there. She's been stateside for only a few weeks."
"Really?" she asked.
"Yes," I replied. "She learned to speak Pidgin English from missionaries. I've already had a hard enough time getting her to understand that she can't eat the neighborhood cats and dogs and the paper boy is definitely out of the question."
"I taught her to use a flip phone. She reads the numbers I wrote down and pushes 'send'. That's about all she can do."
This actually served a purpose and kept her on track. She knew she couldn't substitute. There was no way in hell she would be able to divert me to a smart phone. She kept trying to find me the proper, simple flip phone. She really tried.
It didn't work out but I did score a battery which was the problem to begin with. It cost twice of what the entire phone cost but it got Mrs. Pic up and running again and that's what I was trying to do.
When the woman on the phone asked me if there was anything else she could help me with I had a VERY hard time simply saying no, thanking her and ending the conversation.
Every single neuron in my brain wanted me to ask the woman if she had any ideas of something my wife could use to replace the bone in her nose.
I didn't but I really wanted to. It would have probably been an interesting and amusing conversation.
To find out why the blog is pink just cut and paste this:
http://piccoloshash.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-feminine-side-blog-stays-pink.html NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE WRITING OF TODAY'S ESSAY