my mother asked me once and I replied "I'm probably not."
Much to her credit, she never asked me again (although I attribute that to having four other siblings).
Still, the other day I had one of my younger friends ask me when he was going to get married and give her some grandchildren.
I calmly told her it was none of her business and none of mine, either. I almost went off on her, but I didn't.
Parents have no right whatsoever to pressure their kids to marry or supply them with grandchildren.
None.
It's their job to live good, responsible lives and that's about it. It's their choice to reproduce or not reproduce.
How can someone be so selfish as to demand such a thing?
Several years ago I really went off on a couple over that one. They said that they had demanded that their married son give them grandchildren as soon as possible.
The other thing is when parents insist on their children's careers. Often that's just plain stupid. Why does a parent want his child to make his career running the family business when he has absolutely no aptitude or desire to do so? If the kid wants to, fine. If not let him go his own way.
I've heard stories of kids running away over things like that. Most generally don't fare very well.
I have heard one story of a kid that returned home after a couple of years and told his parents he was in an electrician apprenticeship.
Military recruiters often have stories of enlistees that were doing the equivilent of running away from home and enlisting. One former recruiter I know from back in the day remembers asking me to write one of his enlistees while he was in boot camp. I did. The kid was basically a runaway.
These are success stories. The horror stories outnumber the success stories.
Push them to produce excellence in whatever they do, let tehm decide what to do and if you do that they will amaze you.
Demand excellence.
This is one of those things that we disagree on. Leaving 'the children' part out of it, this is simply a case of social pressure by one party, to coerce another party into compliance.
ReplyDeleteThere is not a thing wrong with social pressure - in fact, it is one of the Only acceptable forms of coercion between two free parties. It is their right to try to badger you into something, and it is also *your* right to not associate with them anymore, if you choose.
Guilt, shame, and social pressure, are the methods of coercion in a free society. Threats, violence, and government 'incentives' are not.
You get to make your own choices in life - others do not get a vote in it, but they do get to have their opinions, and they do get to have their say.
Back to the children issue, were they selfish? No. They were no more selfish in wanting descendants, than you were in not wanting any. You were both only acting in your own best interests, and it was Your final decision to make.
Interesting take on this.
DeleteFair enough.
Your point is DULY noted.