Wednesday, August 18, 2010

There is a medical supply store that

just sold me 1000 auxiliary labels for a measly $4.40 plus shipping.

Most people would say that that was about right and pay it no mind.

Then again, these labels were designed to be used in a pharmacy and really have no business being placed in the hands of a bored sailor.

They say: For rectal use only.

At less than half a cent each, this is the best deal in mischief I have ever seen in my life. The possibilities are endless.

A trip to the produce section of a supermarket is definitely in order, as is a trip to Lowe’s or home Depot.

The workplace has possibilities, too. There are tools and fire extinguishers, light bulbs, jackhammers and all sorts of things around here that can be labeled. It will drive my relief stark staring bonkers trying to figure out where he will find one next.

Of course, the best part of shopping in a supermarket will be watching someone pick up a cucumber or head of lettuce and find the sticker. When that happens, one of three things will happen.

Either the person will bust up right then and there or they will be shocked and put the item back. The other thing that may happen is that if there is an idiot that gets their hands on a marked item, they may take it either to the manager or the pharmacy and make a fool of themselves by asking for an explanation.

They will probably get to see a red-faced manager or pharmacist trying desperately to keep a straight face and explain to the idiot that someone probably stole a roll of stickers from the pharmacy and did what they did.

I plan on giving one to a cop I know to put on his nightstick,

While the best money I have ever spent in my life was the money I spent on my late cat, I’ll have to say that this is the best $4.40 I have spent on mischief and mayhem in all of my years man and boy.

I have just edited this to add that I'd just bet that inside of three days my kid sister will email me asking for about 100 of the stickers.

There is a perverse sense of humor that runs in my family.

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  1. I've got the Cleveland, Ohio area covered. Just ordered up a roll myself.

  2. I've got San Diego and some of Arfcom covered. Check the team forum, pic.